At the beginning of the year, I felt like my phrase was going to be “Just do it.” No matter what was presented to me, I just needed to step out in faith and do it. I knew when I got the phrase that I was to apply it to all situations, but I’m fascinated by how I didn’t even realize it was for EVERY situation until just now.
We all know I used to have a pretty sweet relationship with Ambien. There were my famous ambienated purchases; ambienated Facebook posts; I occasionally sent ambienated emails; and once I reworked our entire budget while under the influence of Ambien. I also hallucinated. I woke up and couldn’t find the dog (he was in bed with me). I woke up and couldn’t find Michael (he was at school). There’s no telling what I did that I don’t remember. But the sleep. Oh, it was glorious. I was on a high dose...10 mg. I took it every night. And I did this for years. I tried to quit a couple of times, cutting the dose in half, then in half again. That didn’t really work and I was frustrated. I talked to my doctor and she told me it’s virtually impossible to get off Ambien once you’ve been on it like I was, and definitely impossible to go cold turkey. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. I knew I would go cold turkey because, if I’m being honest, I wanted to go back to her and tell her I’d done it. That was my sole motivator. I just wanted to win. My timeline got pushed up when Adam had to go into the hospital. I never took my Ambien when he was in the hospital, in case I got a call in the middle of the night and needed to drive myself somewhere; this time, he was there for a week, and when he came home, I didn’t start back with the Ambien like I normally would. I just quit. So as of January 11, 2018, I’m free of my Ambien addiction. Kicked it by sheer willpower. There are times when I really wish I could take just one...because I really don’t sleep well at all...but it’s more important to me to not put that drug in my body. So there you go. I just did it. And let me tell you, it feels good.
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LoriFitz
Thursday, September 06, 2018
Just Do It
Sunday, January 14, 2018
Christmas on a TIGHT Budget
Some of you have asked...so...
Here it is: my guide to financing Christmas (and a wedding, and birthdays) on a very tight budget.
-
First of all, Christmas. This one is easy, since we know it's coming every year. I literally always have a list going, and anytime any of my kids mentions something they'd like to have, it goes on the list. It doesn't matter how big or how small; it's on the list. It also goes on my Amazon Prime wish list (if it can be purchased on Amazon). I start making my Christmas list for the following year as soon as I'm finished purchasing for the current year. I currently have 14 items on my list for my kids for 2018.
-
The same principal was applied to the wedding, and is applied to birthdays (for Michael). Sean and Susan typically will get money for their birthdays, but Michael wants gifts to open, so he gets items off his wish list.
-
My confession: I love to spoil my kids at Christmas. Birthdays have a much smaller budget, but Christmas is beyond extravagant. It's not even really a budgeted item.
-
This year, I estimate that I purchased approximately $1000 in gifts for my 3 kids. Nine days prior to Christmas, we also financed a good portion of Sean and Susan's wedding (about another $1000). How? Well - it's simple. I don't really pay for things...at least not in a typical way.
-
Here's what I mean:
Of the $1000 for Christmas, I actually spent about $250 in cash; same for the wedding. Out of $2000, I only had to come up with $500. That's still a lot of money, but not as much as I would have spent, and I got a lot out of it. Again, how?
-
Apps. That's right, I earn extra money through apps. The ones I currently use are:
Ibotta
Fetch Rewards
Receipt Hog
Walmart Savings Catcher
Rally (benefits through work)
Swagbucks
-
The first 4 are apps where I scan my receipts and get points that I can then cash in for Amazon gift cards or PayPal cash. Rally is one that I get just Amazon gift cards with. And Swagbucks is both, but I don't generally use the app; I use the search engine and occasionally take surveys and earn points on the laptop.
-
Honestly, you can't just play at any of these and expect them to pay off. I work them all like they're my second job. But they ARE like my second job, because when I combined them all, I earned over $1500 in gift cards/PayPal cash this year. And that put a lot of smiles on the faces of my kids.
-
A few things to note:
1. I still shop for bargains. I don't ever just buy something on Amazon. The reason I put things on my wish list is because, if you leave an item on your wish list long enough, the price will come down. Often significantly. This year I was able to get multiple Legos for Michael for 2/3 of the original price; I just had to be patient.
2. I shop throughout the year. I have actually already purchased a gift for Christmas 2018. I will buy early, but only if I know I won't have to return the item. It's not a good deal if I can't return it if necessary.
3. I try to make sure that I know how much I'm spending versus how much "app income" I will have. That way, I'm always sure to be close to my buffer amount.
Which leads me to...
4. Christmas IS coming. Always. So I set aside a little cash every month so I'll have that $250 buffer. The buffer prevents me from having to mess up our normal budget to cover one day of extravagance.
-
This year I had to really work the apps, since we had the wedding too. My expenses: shoes, shirt, belt, pants for Michael; vest rental for Michael; dress and shoes for me; dress, veil, hair clip, garter for Susan (side note: I love having a daughter!); shirt and tie for Sean; various decor items; wedding cake; wedding photographer; dinner and hotel (1 night) for newlyweds. Spoiler alert: I got her dress on Amazon...but other than that, everything was a cash transaction, so I had to earn app income and transfer to PayPal so I'd be able to make the local purchases and pay the vendors. Additionally, we borrowed what we could (a good amount of decor; a jacket for Adam; shoes for Sean) and I have wonderful friends, so our wedding coordinators donated their services. Total estimated spent out of pocket? $250.
-
Sean and Susan were engaged in August, which gave me a little time to save some extra money for wedding expenses, but not the full amount. However, we had some money in savings that we felt could be used here, so we "borrowed" about $150 from savings to make up the difference.
-
Well! There it is! That's how I make the big things happen. Going a little crazy for Christmas makes me happy. I've been financing Christmas through "app income" for about 5-6 years now, and I can honestly say it's one of the smartest things I've ever done. This year, I'm adding more apps, with the intent of investing some of the "free" money. Stay tuned!
Some of you have asked...so...
Here it is: my guide to financing Christmas (and a wedding, and birthdays) on a very tight budget.
-
First of all, Christmas. This one is easy, since we know it's coming every year. I literally always have a list going, and anytime any of my kids mentions something they'd like to have, it goes on the list. It doesn't matter how big or how small; it's on the list. It also goes on my Amazon Prime wish list (if it can be purchased on Amazon). I start making my Christmas list for the following year as soon as I'm finished purchasing for the current year. I currently have 14 items on my list for my kids for 2018.
-
The same principal was applied to the wedding, and is applied to birthdays (for Michael). Sean and Susan typically will get money for their birthdays, but Michael wants gifts to open, so he gets items off his wish list.
-
My confession: I love to spoil my kids at Christmas. Birthdays have a much smaller budget, but Christmas is beyond extravagant. It's not even really a budgeted item.
-
This year, I estimate that I purchased approximately $1000 in gifts for my 3 kids. Nine days prior to Christmas, we also financed a good portion of Sean and Susan's wedding (about another $1000). How? Well - it's simple. I don't really pay for things...at least not in a typical way.
-
Here's what I mean:
Of the $1000 for Christmas, I actually spent about $250 in cash; same for the wedding. Out of $2000, I only had to come up with $500. That's still a lot of money, but not as much as I would have spent, and I got a lot out of it. Again, how?
-
Apps. That's right, I earn extra money through apps. The ones I currently use are:
Ibotta
Fetch Rewards
Receipt Hog
Walmart Savings Catcher
Rally (benefits through work)
Swagbucks
-
The first 4 are apps where I scan my receipts and get points that I can then cash in for Amazon gift cards or PayPal cash. Rally is one that I get just Amazon gift cards with. And Swagbucks is both, but I don't generally use the app; I use the search engine and occasionally take surveys and earn points on the laptop.
-
Honestly, you can't just play at any of these and expect them to pay off. I work them all like they're my second job. But they ARE like my second job, because when I combined them all, I earned over $1500 in gift cards/PayPal cash this year. And that put a lot of smiles on the faces of my kids.
-
A few things to note:
1. I still shop for bargains. I don't ever just buy something on Amazon. The reason I put things on my wish list is because, if you leave an item on your wish list long enough, the price will come down. Often significantly. This year I was able to get multiple Legos for Michael for 2/3 of the original price; I just had to be patient.
2. I shop throughout the year. I have actually already purchased a gift for Christmas 2018. I will buy early, but only if I know I won't have to return the item. It's not a good deal if I can't return it if necessary.
3. I try to make sure that I know how much I'm spending versus how much "app income" I will have. That way, I'm always sure to be close to my buffer amount.
Which leads me to...
4. Christmas IS coming. Always. So I set aside a little cash every month so I'll have that $250 buffer. The buffer prevents me from having to mess up our normal budget to cover one day of extravagance.
-
This year I had to really work the apps, since we had the wedding too. My expenses: shoes, shirt, belt, pants for Michael; vest rental for Michael; dress and shoes for me; dress, veil, hair clip, garter for Susan (side note: I love having a daughter!); shirt and tie for Sean; various decor items; wedding cake; wedding photographer; dinner and hotel (1 night) for newlyweds. Spoiler alert: I got her dress on Amazon...but other than that, everything was a cash transaction, so I had to earn app income and transfer to PayPal so I'd be able to make the local purchases and pay the vendors. Additionally, we borrowed what we could (a good amount of decor; a jacket for Adam; shoes for Sean) and I have wonderful friends, so our wedding coordinators donated their services. Total estimated spent out of pocket? $250.
-
Sean and Susan were engaged in August, which gave me a little time to save some extra money for wedding expenses, but not the full amount. However, we had some money in savings that we felt could be used here, so we "borrowed" about $150 from savings to make up the difference.
-
Well! There it is! That's how I make the big things happen. Going a little crazy for Christmas makes me happy. I've been financing Christmas through "app income" for about 5-6 years now, and I can honestly say it's one of the smartest things I've ever done. This year, I'm adding more apps, with the intent of investing some of the "free" money. Stay tuned!
Friday, March 10, 2017
Are You Finishing Well?
A few months ago, I was asked to write a guest post for The Parent Cue blog. This was my submission. It was written in October 2016 and published in March 2017. I think it's kind of okay.
I thought I raised my children well. They seemed like good kids. But then, a few months ago, my oldest son did the unthinkable. The most thoughtless, unimaginable thing he’s ever done.
He moved out.
I probably should have been expecting it. After all, he’s 21. But I’d done a pretty good job of ensuring he’d live with us forever. And really, he was on the fast track to living at home for many, many years to come.
He had a job. He was given the choice when he graduated high school: go to college (on our dime); go to college part-time and work part-time (again, we would fund his schooling); or get a full-time job. If he chose to get a job, which he did, he had two options: live at home, paying rent, or get his own place. In order to stack the deck in my favor, we often sat down for financial conversations where I could point out what a sweet deal he would be getting at home, and what a waste it would be to live elsewhere.
This worked well for two years. A major factor was that he didn’t have a driver’s license, which meant he had to walk everywhere he went. Then Uber came along. Stupid Uber.
Then he was promoted at work. Unfortunately, his momma raised him with an excellent work ethic and suddenly he had a whole pile of cash with which to make all his dreams come true. Stupid work ethic.
So around the end of last year, he started talking about moving out . . . a lot, And I was suddenly aware of all the things I should have done or said or lessons I should have taught. I had exactly 5 months to get it together and finish well.
That became my goal: Finish Well. I would stay up late every night, waiting for him to get in from work, so he could rehash his day with me. Sometimes we stayed up to the wee hours just talking about superhero movies. It didn’t matter if I was exhausted and had to get up early for work the next day; he was my priority, now more than ever. We went to countless movies (something we’ve always enjoyed doing together). And we taught him to drive.
He moved out in April. He’s a good kid, so he doesn’t go too long without keeping in touch, and he doesn’t get annoyed when I get all up in his business. I try to only get in his business when it’s absolutely necessary.
There are days when it is hard; most days, it’s just different.
I’m sure I didn’t do everything right with my oldest. But he talks to me (sometimes too much), and listens to me (sometimes not enough), and he makes me proud (always). And that makes me believe that I did, indeed, Finish Well
There are now three of us at home. My youngest son, who is 18 and has autism, is the only child living with us now. He requires a lot of attention, not because of his special needs, but because he misses his brother, and we have become his constant source of entertainment.
There are many struggles when facing adulthood with a special needs child. I don’t know when, or if, he will move out and live on his own (or in a group home of some sort). He is high functioning, so all scenarios are possible.
My “Finish Well” for him is different than it was for his brother. He can’t drive a car, can’t handle his own finances, can’t get married. Preparing him for adulthood is something beyond my grasp at the moment. I’m just working on my “Finish This” for him.
I think finishing well will look different for all of us and for every kid. I think it’s looking forward more than you look back, and making the most of the time you have left in whatever season or phase you’re in.
What does finishing well look like for your kids—whether it be finishing this school year, or finishing this phase your kids are in? What will you do to make the most of this time?
Friday, November 04, 2016
What's in a Name?
Whenever anyone hears my given name for the first time, I always get the same reaction: "Huh. I've never heard that before." It's almost like a nice way of saying "Wow, that's weird." My standard response has always been, "Yea, it's an old lady name." Which of course is met with nervous laughter and a "No, it's really...pretty." Of course, sensing discomfort and wanting to draw it out as long as possible, I turn it into a conversation and continue with "No, really. It was my grandmother's name. It's ok. She was old."
Now clearly this makes no sense. She wasn't old when I was given her name. She was in her 40s; probably around the age I am now. Basically the opposite of old.
When I was younger, I hated my name. No personalized key chains or pencils or souvenirs of any sort for me. Eventually it got to where Lori was a popular enough name where you could find it branded on certain items - which I take full credit for - but Lorene has never really taken off.
Then a few years ago, after my grandmother died, I realized I loved having her name. And she had her mom's name. Which means I have her mom's name. No one else in my family has my great-grandmother's name. And in a family that has about 5 names on heavy rotation and not much else, I think that's pretty pretty freaking great.
Now clearly this makes no sense. She wasn't old when I was given her name. She was in her 40s; probably around the age I am now. Basically the opposite of old.
When I was younger, I hated my name. No personalized key chains or pencils or souvenirs of any sort for me. Eventually it got to where Lori was a popular enough name where you could find it branded on certain items - which I take full credit for - but Lorene has never really taken off.
Then a few years ago, after my grandmother died, I realized I loved having her name. And she had her mom's name. Which means I have her mom's name. No one else in my family has my great-grandmother's name. And in a family that has about 5 names on heavy rotation and not much else, I think that's pretty pretty freaking great.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
In the Blink of an Eye
This post might not be funny. Then again, it might be hilarious. You won't know until you read it.
An interesting thing happened to me last month. I was running early morning errands -- my most favorite time of the day to run errands. The first thing on my list was running by my new pharmacy; I was just getting started.
Side note: CVS sucks. Discuss amongst yourselves.
Anyhoo. I run into the pharmacy, chat it up with everyone as they fill my prescription while I wait (hello...what a concept!), and then I head out. I had a cold, was feeling generally lousy, so I just wanted to cross everything off the list and get home and in bed. My day did not go as planned.
I walked outside and got inside my van. Immediately upon my butt hitting the seat, a huge branch falls from the tree next to me and crashes into the roof of the van. It sounded like an explosion. People poured from the businesses in the shopping center and came to check on me. Frankly, it was a little surreal.
The entire roof of my van was caved in. It jarred the van so hard that every light inside came on, the visors all fell open, the rearview mirror fell all wonky...but the windshield didn't break. I can't explain it but I'm thinking that would have freaked me out, so I'm glad it stayed intact.
So it was a craptastic morning. And it got me thinking... what if that had been someone in a smaller car? (The car next to me was a little Mazda). What if I still drove the convertible? What if it had been a couple of seconds earlier and I wasn't in the van when the branch fell? Those are some scary what-ifs.
All of this thinking led me to more thinking. This is how it goes with me sometimes. I cannot be stopped. But I got started on the whole "the day Spanky was born" thing. How if I'd had my first seizure when I was driving, I would have crashed my car. How if I hadn't called SH less than 5 minutes prior to the seizure, we wouldn't have been on the phone when it happened, and no one would have known how to reach him. How just a matter of seconds meant all the difference.
Surely you can see God is all over this. How can you not? And yet, there are those who will believe this is yet another instance in which "luck" played a part. Nope, sorry guys, but we are blessed. Believe it.
So, I lied. This post wasn't hilarious. Not even remotely funny. But someone who reads this might have needed the reminder: God's got your back. Always.
An interesting thing happened to me last month. I was running early morning errands -- my most favorite time of the day to run errands. The first thing on my list was running by my new pharmacy; I was just getting started.
Side note: CVS sucks. Discuss amongst yourselves.
Anyhoo. I run into the pharmacy, chat it up with everyone as they fill my prescription while I wait (hello...what a concept!), and then I head out. I had a cold, was feeling generally lousy, so I just wanted to cross everything off the list and get home and in bed. My day did not go as planned.
I walked outside and got inside my van. Immediately upon my butt hitting the seat, a huge branch falls from the tree next to me and crashes into the roof of the van. It sounded like an explosion. People poured from the businesses in the shopping center and came to check on me. Frankly, it was a little surreal.
The entire roof of my van was caved in. It jarred the van so hard that every light inside came on, the visors all fell open, the rearview mirror fell all wonky...but the windshield didn't break. I can't explain it but I'm thinking that would have freaked me out, so I'm glad it stayed intact.
So it was a craptastic morning. And it got me thinking... what if that had been someone in a smaller car? (The car next to me was a little Mazda). What if I still drove the convertible? What if it had been a couple of seconds earlier and I wasn't in the van when the branch fell? Those are some scary what-ifs.
All of this thinking led me to more thinking. This is how it goes with me sometimes. I cannot be stopped. But I got started on the whole "the day Spanky was born" thing. How if I'd had my first seizure when I was driving, I would have crashed my car. How if I hadn't called SH less than 5 minutes prior to the seizure, we wouldn't have been on the phone when it happened, and no one would have known how to reach him. How just a matter of seconds meant all the difference.
Surely you can see God is all over this. How can you not? And yet, there are those who will believe this is yet another instance in which "luck" played a part. Nope, sorry guys, but we are blessed. Believe it.
So, I lied. This post wasn't hilarious. Not even remotely funny. But someone who reads this might have needed the reminder: God's got your back. Always.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Live Like You Were Dying
Frogboy asked me the other day what I would do if I only had a month to live. I immediately asked him, "Well, what condition am I in?" Frankly, that's going to make a big difference in how I answer the question.
If I'm confined to bed and unable to communicate, I think it's pretty obvious. I'm just gonna lay there, no matter how long I have.
And if I'm kinda sickly and I can't get out and do the fun stuff, then I guess I would spend a great deal of time gathering the people I love around me and talking about good times and telling them I love them. I can talk faster depending on how bad I feel.
Door number 3 is obviously the door of choice. This would be where I'm amazingly healthy up until the moment I stop breathing. Behind this door I would like to think I would do all sorts of fun things and make all sorts of incredible memories for my loved ones. Things I would remember for the rest of my very short life. (Although, let's be honest, if I'm dying in a month, even a good solid poop will land on that list.)
But then I think again. Do I want my kids to come to the end of my life and say, "Hey, remember how awesome mom was the month before she died?" Or do I want them to remember my entire life, hopefully in the same "awesome mom" vein?
The night before my aunt slipped into a coma she never came out of, she told my uncle, "If I die tonight, I will die a happy woman." It's been a little over a year, and we haven't come anywhere close to exhausting the "awesome mom" stories from her life. I want to live my life like she did. No matter how long I have. No matter what I have happen. I want to live a life of love.
If I'm confined to bed and unable to communicate, I think it's pretty obvious. I'm just gonna lay there, no matter how long I have.
And if I'm kinda sickly and I can't get out and do the fun stuff, then I guess I would spend a great deal of time gathering the people I love around me and talking about good times and telling them I love them. I can talk faster depending on how bad I feel.
Door number 3 is obviously the door of choice. This would be where I'm amazingly healthy up until the moment I stop breathing. Behind this door I would like to think I would do all sorts of fun things and make all sorts of incredible memories for my loved ones. Things I would remember for the rest of my very short life. (Although, let's be honest, if I'm dying in a month, even a good solid poop will land on that list.)
But then I think again. Do I want my kids to come to the end of my life and say, "Hey, remember how awesome mom was the month before she died?" Or do I want them to remember my entire life, hopefully in the same "awesome mom" vein?
The night before my aunt slipped into a coma she never came out of, she told my uncle, "If I die tonight, I will die a happy woman." It's been a little over a year, and we haven't come anywhere close to exhausting the "awesome mom" stories from her life. I want to live my life like she did. No matter how long I have. No matter what I have happen. I want to live a life of love.
Wednesday, November 06, 2013
Purse Ponderings
There are certain events in every woman's life that mark her. Events that outshine every other boring, blah day of her existence.
The day she walks down the aisle to marry the man of her dreams.
The day she gives birth to her first child. And the second. And - I'm almost certain - all subsequent offspring. That sort of thing rarely gets old.
But let's face it. One of the highlights in every girl's life is the search for - and discovery of - the ultimate joy of the perfect purse. It's true.
Now I've been criticized a lot over the years about making too much out of this whole perfect purse phenomena. This has generally been done by men, therefore I have completely ignored it and them. Statements such as "Why do you need so many purses?" (um, because they're there!) and "What's the point in getting a new one; you only use it for a couple of weeks before you get tired of it and put it in the trunk" (yea, kid, careful with that...and be glad I have some scruples where you're concerned).
Here's the thing with purses. As evidenced by the plethora of offerings everywhere you go, clearly we women need choice. You've got to choose a lot of things. Style. Color. Shape. Fabric. Can it hold all my crap, but not require me to hire a chiropractor? Is it cute but not girly, or adult but not trampy? And if you're like me, am I going to see every other person with the same bag? Cuz I don't want that. I'm an individual, just like everybody else.
I have some general ideas when I'm looking. I personally like an open top with a zipper, which I will never, ever zip up. Two straps, long enough to carry on my shoulder but not so long it bonks my butt. Big enough for extra stuff if I want to tote extra stuff, but not so big my stuff gets lost inside if I'm just carrying my regular junk. And of course I have to like how it looks, which is a crapshoot from day to day.
So last week Spanky somehow got roped into shopping with me, and I spent well over an hour perusing the purses in a certain store. He was no help at all by the way. He refused to give opinions except to say, "It's ugly" to everything I even thought about picking up. We could have left a lot sooner if he'd given me some positive feedback. He did not, and I left the store praying God will bless him with many, many daughters.
So now I've found some great bags. And they're great for a reason. They cost $600 and more. I find that insane and simply cannot even think of that in a real-world type situation. After all, it's just going in the trunk in a week anyway.
The day she walks down the aisle to marry the man of her dreams.
The day she gives birth to her first child. And the second. And - I'm almost certain - all subsequent offspring. That sort of thing rarely gets old.
But let's face it. One of the highlights in every girl's life is the search for - and discovery of - the ultimate joy of the perfect purse. It's true.
Now I've been criticized a lot over the years about making too much out of this whole perfect purse phenomena. This has generally been done by men, therefore I have completely ignored it and them. Statements such as "Why do you need so many purses?" (um, because they're there!) and "What's the point in getting a new one; you only use it for a couple of weeks before you get tired of it and put it in the trunk" (yea, kid, careful with that...and be glad I have some scruples where you're concerned).
Here's the thing with purses. As evidenced by the plethora of offerings everywhere you go, clearly we women need choice. You've got to choose a lot of things. Style. Color. Shape. Fabric. Can it hold all my crap, but not require me to hire a chiropractor? Is it cute but not girly, or adult but not trampy? And if you're like me, am I going to see every other person with the same bag? Cuz I don't want that. I'm an individual, just like everybody else.
I have some general ideas when I'm looking. I personally like an open top with a zipper, which I will never, ever zip up. Two straps, long enough to carry on my shoulder but not so long it bonks my butt. Big enough for extra stuff if I want to tote extra stuff, but not so big my stuff gets lost inside if I'm just carrying my regular junk. And of course I have to like how it looks, which is a crapshoot from day to day.
So last week Spanky somehow got roped into shopping with me, and I spent well over an hour perusing the purses in a certain store. He was no help at all by the way. He refused to give opinions except to say, "It's ugly" to everything I even thought about picking up. We could have left a lot sooner if he'd given me some positive feedback. He did not, and I left the store praying God will bless him with many, many daughters.
So now I've found some great bags. And they're great for a reason. They cost $600 and more. I find that insane and simply cannot even think of that in a real-world type situation. After all, it's just going in the trunk in a week anyway.
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