Sunday, August 09, 2009

Don't Look a Gift Card in the Mouth

Can I gripe for a bit? Can you really stop me?

I have a simple question: Whatever happened to people actually thanking you when you give them a gift? I have always believed it was right and proper to send a thank-you note toot suite upon receiving a gift, and I have instilled such in my boys. Not that they would ever think to do it on their own...but with a little guidance (and threats), it always seems to get done.

I have found, however, that I may be the last of a dying breed. I have given many gifts in the past few years, and unless I am standing right there when it is opened, I don't get so much as a "thanks, nice gesture, crappy gift, whatever." Just no acknowledgement whatsoever. And that ticks me off. Bad.

I personally don't think people should expect gifts. I know a lot of people who do, whether its their birthday, Christmas, or just because they are all around awesome people and feel they should be rewarded for it. And you know what? If people don't mind giving you gifts, then good for you. But at least be appreciative.

I used to hate giving gift cards. Too impersonal. But then I realized if I just put some thought into the gift card, or gave cash (for those hard-to-shop-for teens), I would be doing everyone a solid. Learned that one the hard way - from a niece who was refreshingly honest about a purse I thought was cool but was clearly NOT.

These days, I'm stumped. If I send gifts in the mail, or put them on a gift table at a reception of some sort, and I don't get a thank-you, how do I know my gift was received? How do I know I was properly credited with giving a great gift? I can't very well say something. THAT would be tacky.

That said, I don't think you should give gifts expecting anything in return. A gift is just that, a gift. And yet, I wonder what it says about society that we don't thank people anymore. I personally try to thank every single serviceperson that helps me throughout my day: at the store, at the pharmacy, at the doctor's office...this week I even thanked a creditor who called to tell me I would be turned over to collections for a whopping $4 bill. He was, after all, just doing his job, and he wasn't rude about it...so why not thank him? I can honestly say he sounded a little surprised...and I'll bet he was nice to someone later because of it.

I guess my main point is, let's not take each other for granted. Good manners are a great thing.