Just Do It

At the beginning of the year, I felt like my phrase was going to be “Just do it.” No matter what was presented to me, I just needed to step out in faith and do it. I knew when I got the phrase that I was to apply it to all situations, but I’m fascinated by how I didn’t even realize it was for EVERY situation until just now. We all know I used to have a pretty sweet relationship with Ambien. There were my famous ambienated purchases; ambienated Facebook posts; I occasionally sent ambienated emails; and once I reworked our entire budget while under the influence of Ambien. I also hallucinated. I woke up and couldn’t find the dog (he was in bed with me). I woke up and couldn’t find Michael (he was at school). There’s no telling what I did that I don’t remember. But the sleep. Oh, it was glorious. I was on a high dose...10 mg. I took it every night. And I did this for years. I tried to quit a couple of times, cutting the dose in half, then in half again. That didn’t really work and I was frustrated. I talked to my doctor and she told me it’s virtually impossible to get off Ambien once you’ve been on it like I was, and definitely impossible to go cold turkey. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. I knew I would go cold turkey because, if I’m being honest, I wanted to go back to her and tell her I’d done it. That was my sole motivator. I just wanted to win. My timeline got pushed up when Adam had to go into the hospital. I never took my Ambien when he was in the hospital, in case I got a call in the middle of the night and needed to drive myself somewhere; this time, he was there for a week, and when he came home, I didn’t start back with the Ambien like I normally would. I just quit. So as of January 11, 2018, I’m free of my Ambien addiction. Kicked it by sheer willpower. There are times when I really wish I could take just one...because I really don’t sleep well at all...but it’s more important to me to not put that drug in my body. So there you go. I just did it. And let me tell you, it feels good.  Forward