The New Phone Books are Here! I'm Somebody Now!!
I couldn't fall asleep last night. I wanted to; I just couldn't. I tried everything in my arsenal. I said all the states in alphabetical order. I said all the state capitals in alphabetical order. Then REVERSE alphabetical order. NOTHING.
It was time for the big guns. I counted backwards from 1299 to 0. Twice. Still nothing. By now it was midnight and I was just a little cranky, frankly. I started listing 5-letter nouns - in alphabetical order. (Yes, I lack imagination). STILL NOTHING.
Somehow I came up with the thought of that game "Six Degrees of Separation." I figured if everyone is connected to Kevin Bacon by 6 degrees or less, then they must be connected to me in the same way. Surely I'm as popular as Kevin Bacon.
It didn't take long (seriously, about 5 minutes) before I made a 2-degree connection between me and Oprah. That's not something I'm proud of, but it does help where I'm going with this. See, in my former life as an insurance agent, I worked at a company with a branch in Columbia. And one of the employees that I mingled with every Christmas for 5 years had a daughter who just up and vanished one year. It was huge news here. And he managed to get on Oprah to talk about it. And you know what that means...
I am only 3 degrees of separation from every single person who has ever been on Oprah. Hello, Will Smith. Hello, Harry Connick Jr. And most importantly, Hello, Jon Bon Jovi!!!
(Let's all just reflect for a moment on the hotness that is Jon Bon Jovi. OK)
Needless to say, this little exercise didn't do much to help me fall asleep. But it sure made me feel important for about 3 minutes.
6 comments:
Egads. And I thought I had no life.
So all of us who read your blog are only four degrees away from Oprah! Interesting...
Wow! Only 4 degrees away from Okra just because I read this.
At least it's not Rosie O'Donnel
Wow. And we're also only three degrees away from everyone who's ever been on "America's Most Wanted." What a family!
Now that Jim Caviezel came to the church, I am only 2 degrees from him. I have so many friends who met him, and I got to email his assistant a lot before he came.
And as The Professor so sweetly pointed out, we are only 3 degrees away from anyone who's ever been on America's Most Wanted. Including McGruff the Crime Dog.
I suppose you were also born a poor black child
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