Saturday, February 07, 2009

The Difference Between Men and Women (Vacation Version)

The Fitzes are thinking of taking a vacation this summer. It's been 4 years since our trek to PA, and my memories of the flight are starting to fade somewhat, so I have convinced myself it wouldn't be too terrible to venture out yet again and see SuperHubby's BFF in Ohio. Sadly, SH isn't too keen on driving to Cleveland, so while I'd LOVE to park my butt in the Sebring and cruise on up to Ohio, it would appear I am not going to win that particular argument and we will be airborne at some point in the next 6 months.

I do these things to myself. The whole trip was actually my idea. It's only fair; my BFF lives in Greenville, so I can technically see her whenever I want. SH's BFF is in OHIO, and they haven't seen each other since the BFF came to see Spanky when he was 6 months old (13 years ago for those keeping track at home). That's a long time! (Sidebar: Spanky is named after this particular BFF).

So yeah. I figured I could probably handle the plane trip. After all, I'm older, wiser, more mature. And I plan on taking drugs, which I didn't do last time. So it's all good. And we're all excited. Except we have a little issue...

See I actually want my children to join us on our vacation. To me, "vacation" means "family." SH is more inclined to think "vacation" means "drop the boys at Aunt Linda's and don't come back until the last possible moment she'll watch them." Forget that we probably won't get to do this again. Forget that hubbies never actually DO a whole lot with kids while on vacation, forget that he's never packed a suitcase for anyone but himself, forget it all...all SH knows is that this sounds like a great trip for THE 2 OF US.

We've had some fellowship over it. I have a free flight that I can use, which would mean only paying for 3 of us to get there. The bad news is tickets are $328 each. To Ohio! I mean, who actually goes to Ohio? When I told the BFF we were coming, he asked why. (He was thrilled when I said it was just to see him; we don't care a thing about Cleveland). Seriously, the airline should pay us to fly us there.

My big problem is this: If we all fly togther and the plane goes down, well then I've just killed my kids. But if SH and I go alone and the plane crashes, guess what? I just orphaned my boys. And it will ruin their lives forever and they'll need massive amounts of therapy and it'll all be because we didn't let them go on vacation with us. These are the things that keep me up at night.

I guess SH doesn't want to have to take care of 2 kids AND a doped up wife while travelling. I already informed the BFF that I probably won't recognize him when I get off the plane, and he shouldn't take offense at that in the least. We'll get there early enough so I can sleep it off and be great by dinner.

So I'm hoping the boys can go with us, SH's hoping the cost of airline tickets remains steadily unaffordable until after this summer, and the boys just want to go anywhere outside of the state of South Carolina. We all have dreams.

2 comments:

Ann said...

I say you and me split the difference of the second ticket, and then if the plane goes down, the kids will at least have one parental-type figure.

And I'll go to Cleveland...anywhere by myself is a vacation to me! :o)

Super Rog said...

However y'all get there. I'm with you on this one. Take the boys. I grew up going on annual EXTENDED family trips.
Me, mom, dad and dad's sisters and their husbands in a motor home.
We'd go to Sumter SC and pickup two of them, then to VA to get two more.
And what were we doing: SHOPPING!!!

Dad's sisters shopping is their crack.

My aunt Elsie is one of my favorite people but I've seen the woman almost jump out of a moving vehicle to get to a Goodys. It's not pretty to see a bunch of slightly overweight bodies with snow-white hair running to an outlet store.

Then there were the food stops. "Where do you want to stop?" "I don't know..I'm fine with anything...." We'd sit out in the motor home for about 1/2 an hour before even going inside b/c they had to discuss what type of food the place MIGHT be serving and the possible price range.

Then we'd go to the hotel. Only 1/2 would stay in the rooom, the rest of us stayed in the MH.I was always in the motor home 1/2 since dad was cheap. At night, they'd sit in the hotel room planning the next day's shopping. There was less planning for the storming of the beaches at Normandy.

Then there was The Question. We'd be sititng around a hotel room. Aunt Elsie would ask: "Does anyone have to go to the bathroom before me...I might have to sit for awhile."

Now y'all know why I'm not married and live at home at age 40.