Obit Observations
One of the funniest bits on Friends was early in the show, before they tried too hard, when Phoebe went to visit her grandmother. Grandma had out the newspaper and the phone book. Paper was turned to the obits. When asked what she was doing, she replied, "Updating the phone book." Classic.
I'm not morbid, but I love the obituaries. I read them every day. I don't know what I find so fascinating about them, but I cannot NOT turn to that section ... before I look at anything else ... to check things out. Been doing it since I was a kid.
I don't really read them all. (As if that makes it better.) I only scan them, find the ones that seem particularly tragic, and then read those in great detail. It's like a sick little game. Read the obit and see if you can figure out how the person died.
Things have gotten better in recent years; it has become more acceptable to add a few words to make things more personal. Used to be, you got "He was born, he got married, he had kids, he died, come Friday for the funeral" and that was it. Now people add things like "She is survived by her lifelong companions Bert and Ernie, cockapoos that never left her side even while she soiled herself in her final moments." It's touching, really.
Still, when I check out the obits and something strikes me as not being old-age-death, I need details. Can't we just require people put that in the announcement? If it's a young person, or worse, a kid, I need to know. Was it a car accident? Cancer? Lice infestation? Inquiring minds want to know.
Sometimes you can figure it out. It all depends on where they ask you to make donations in lieu of flowers. If it's the American Cancer Society, you pretty much know. If it's the SPCA, either they had rabies, or they were very lonely ladies with lots of cats. Sometimes there will be an accompanying article elsewhere in the paper that spells things out in wonderful, lurid detail; but usually it takes quite a bit of detective work.
Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way. Probably so. But I think the obituaries should be more like reporting a story. It sure would make my life a lot easier.
And people could stop putting those ridiculous RIP stencils on the back windows of their cars. That would also be helpful. For future reference: That's not how I want to be remembered by my family, friends, and any strangers driving past at 80 mph on the interstate.
5 comments:
I read the obits too. A little a year and 1/2 ago I arrived at work on AM and things were slow. I opened to the obits [not somethign I normally start with].
I saw a name. I read it again to be sure. Then I read the details. My first girlfriend had died. We started "dating" in the 7th grade. We went to her Jr. and Sr. proms together. We stopped dating while I was in college because I knew that we were staying with each other, only out of fear of finding no one else.
She had been born with a dibiatiating diseasem, that put her in a wheelchair. I think it was spinal bifida but I'm not sure. It was not important for me to ever know why, I just knew I cared about her as a friend.
Sadly, I'd not seen her in years, but when I saw the obit, I told my manager that I was going to leave right after a meeting I had that morning. When I told him why, he demanaded I skip the meeting and threatened to littarly kick me out of the buiding so I could go to the funeral.
I called my dad, he had my suit waiting by the time I got home. I changed and went to the funeral. I found out that she'd gone from this painfully shy little girl to starting the greeting ministry at her church. Several of the men--including her dad--wore wore Micky Mouse ties. She loved Disney.
I will miss her now. I just wished I had spent more time with her as a friend.
I read the obits everyday to see if I am in them. If I find my name, I'm not going to work.
I'm glad you read the obits, so I don't have to. I read the sports, and the op-eds. But never the obits. Which is a bit awkward sometimes, because I'll be thinking a guy is alive that they planted a month ago. I count on you to inform me if any of my close friends are dead.
PS-I count on the rest of our family to keep up with who is merely DYING.
Yawn!
I thought the RIP stickers on cars meant that they received the cars from their loved ones through inheritance or purchased it with the insurance money and was just saying "Thanks Grandma Sally for the Mustang!"
Post a Comment