Funny

Does anyone else find it perfectly hilarious that Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields both welcomed their new babies (both girls) on the same day? This after Tom and Brooke were so nasty to each other last year - specifically about the entire childbirth process?

That just makes my day.

What a Stinker

Yesterday, being the totally and completely cool parents that we are, SuperHubby and I took the boys on a mystery trip to Columbia to EdVenture Children's Museum. Okay, I admit it, they were just my ticket in.

We rented a van. We had to. We just don't trust the suppository to make the trip to Columbia. Most days we don't trust her to make the trip to North Chuck.

She spent the evening at the airport. She knew she'd been temporarily replaced by a younger, more modern model. (Does everyone know they make vans where the doors open automatically? Wowzer.)

We come back from a long day trip and pick the old girl up. I make a quick jaunt to Mt Pleasant to run to Target (priorities). Then...she sputters out on me. Oh, she gave it a valiant effort, but after much chugging around Mt Pleasant, me calling SH and yelling the famous line from Speed ("Get on or stay off?!") and a lot of fervent prayers, we coasted into the church parking lot and promptly died. Lovely.

So I was stranded in Mt Pleasant, with SH needing me to be home in 30 minutes so he could leave. He ended up having to drag the boys out again all because the suppository was being a big baby. I personally believe she is rebelling simply because she didn't get invited on the trip and her feelings are hurt. She is, most appropriately, being a stinker.

Today she acted a little better. She cranked for SH. I think this is also part of the old girl's plan. Make me look like an idiot. Cranked right up for SH. He didn't say anything, but he had that look. I'm sure he doubted the theatrics of 24 hours ago.

So...whomever plans to bless me with a Jeep Cherokee or Land Rover...now's the time. I'd like it red or blue, but will take any color and paint if you prefer.

Thanking you in advance, I remain... The Queen of All Vehicular Drama.

Happiness 24/7

Last week, the boys were on Spring Break. They have more time off from school than a snow shoveler in SC, so I can't figure out why they need a spring break, but they had it. So they had a week full of activities with grandparents and - not as much fun - mom and dad.

On the morning SuperHubby stayed home with the boys, I decided to run a few errands before work. So I went to Wal-Mart.

Here's the glorious thing: Wal-Mart is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Fabulous.

I arrived in Heaven at 6:45 a.m. (I am a morning person. However, I am asleep by 9:30 on a good day). I was able to spend a full 45 minutes in the store without anyone whining, asking me to buy them things or grabbing their crotch and screaming "I have to go to the bathroom!" (I went before I left the house).

I had a leisurely trip to Wal-Mart, bought all the stuff for my children's Easter baskets, bought a few things that I try to purchase when I'm alone because I don't want to have The Talk with anyone in the middle of the store, and it was wonderful. I was able to peruse the shelves, just to see what they had. They didn't have anything new or exciting, but I got to look.

There was no checkout line. Not a lot of people shop at that hour. It's the best time to go, though, because you get a good parking spot and the stuff hasn't been pawed over yet that day and you don't have to wait in line to pay for your treasures. No one controls your shopping spree but you.

So I had a wonderful little trip. Now I'm counting down to summer vacation.

Words of Wisdom

April is National Autism Awareness Month. I never knew this until I had a child who was diagnosed with autism. Amazing how we live in our own little world, isn't it?

Now I get a monthly newsletter from the SC Center for Disabilities. This is a really cool place (in my humble opinion). They have tons of resources available, and offer them just like a library, only they mail them to you at your request, send you an envelope to mail them back, and boom! You have a little light (ha!) reading at your fingertips.

This month, being Autism Awareness Month, they had a great Top 10 list. I'm going to totally steal it because it's good.

10 Things I Have Learned About Life While Raising an Autistic Child
1. Austim or not, they are still a blessing.
2. There is no such thing as "normal."
3. No two are alike.
4. How autistic I really am.
5. If I stay calm, it will have a domino effect.
6. Don't stay in denial; no one gets better there.
7. Major the majors and minor the minors (or...don't sweat the small stuff).
8. A sense of humor is EVERYTHING.
9. A simple smile can tell me more than one word.
10. Miracles happen every day if you know where to look.

These are good lessons for every parent. Every adult. Every child. But I can't begin to explain how true they are in our family. How many times have I said, "OHMIGOSH, if that's all it takes, then I'm CERTAINLY autistic!" How many times have I thought, "I have to laugh, or I'm gonna cry?" (most recently: 6:45 this morning, Harris Teeter, U-Scan aisle). How many times have I thought, "I wouldn't have chosen for him to have autism, but I wouldn't change him for the world." How many times have I thanked God for FrogBoy doing something any other almost-8 year old has been doing for years?

We've got it so good. We are truly blessed. He is such a miracle I can't put it into words. It's a crazy ride, hard sometimes, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Lacking Direction

Earlier this week, I got lost on my way to Target. How is that possible? I go to Target at least 3 times a week. Unless I NEED something. Then I make a special trip.

I blame the traffic circles. Who thought this up? This is a terrible idea for someone with even the slightest hint of ADD. There I was, on my way to Target, got a little distracted, and the next thing I know, the road looks very familiar...like I've been there before...

So I got lost. It made me very unhappy, because I was on my way to pick up Spanky from karate, and I was cutting it close. I try to plan my trips to Target and Wal-Mart with only one child in tow. That doesn't need to be explained to anyone who has ever had children, knows children or can spell "children."

So now I'm running late. And I'm lost. Because by now, it's dark. And I don't drive so well in the dark. Actually, I drive fine, I just don't see so well in the dark. Details.

Personally I think they should change the way they label streets. Do I really need to know which two streets intersect at any given point? I think not. Give me helpful signs, like "Turn here for Target," and I'm a happy shopper.

Or they could do away with the big blue hospital signs and make signs like the red and white Target sign. THAT would be helpful. Who needs a sign to find the hospital? Just follow the ambulances. Or the suppository. Either/or.

I finally found Target. But then I got lost inside the store. It just wasn't my night. Apparently the Target people thought it would be funny to move a few things around. Not the entire store, mind you, where I would realize the minute I walked in the doors that something was up, just a couple of random items so I'd have to search forever and still not find my stuff before I had to leave to get the Spankster.

So I got to go back the next night. I went to the one near my house. No traffic circles.