Trouble with a Capital "S"

Spanky really stepped in it this time, friends. He comes home from school this afternoon, and with the most serious face he can muster, tells SuperHubby, "I have something to tell you." Uh-oh.

That's when the waterworks started. There was major snottage. He cried like a little girl. (Later, when I pointed this out, he told me he cried "like a man." I had to remind him that men don't cry like that - ever.)

Seems the Spankster got a referral at school. Two days before his big birthday. Not good timing. The best he can tell us is that he was talking in class when his teacher was out and she says she warned them that if they got written down for disobeying the substitute, they would get a referral. So his very serious reasoning for the referral was "But I didn't hear her say that!"

The child was hysterical. I thought he might hyperventilate. We asked what the punishment was. He had no idea. So I called the school. Apparently it can range from lunch detention to full-blown suspension. And my child, who has never been in BIG TROUBLE at school, is completely confident that they are kicking him out. For talking in class. Four months ago. (Yes, this happened at the beginning of the year, and the teacher is just now doling out the referrals. I don't quite understand that, but she just had a baby - 4 months ago - so maybe she's sleep deprived.)

Being totally awesome parents, SH and I informed Spankarooni that he would have to serve his punishment - because he did break the rules - but that we were sure the school wouldn't go overboard with said punishment. SH - in a great moment of parenting - asked what lesson had been learned. Spanky said he learned not to talk in class. Not wanting to leave well enough alone, I chimed in and asked what OTHER lesson he'd learned. Apparently he'd learned to give his mother a blank stare. I finally shared with him that he should obey the rules, whether he's reminded to or not. He and SH both looked at me like I had barfed up a unicycle on the living room carpet, but I thought it was good. SH took my first answer anyway.

So goes another day in the Fitzgerald household. I'm still waiting on my call from the school to tell me about my child's horrible infraction against humankind. I hope I can act upset when they call.