Batman: He's Not Super, Man

Being the mother of 2 little boys, I have great experience in the world of superheroes. Our house is full of Batman, Superman, Justice League - you name it, we've got it. I'm talking action figures, costumes, movies, coloring books. Way too much to explain. Suffice it to say, being the super-involved Queen Mommy that I am, I have made it my goal for the past 10 years to be able to carry on a reasonable conversation with my boys about the hero du jour.

But we have a little problem. His name is Batman. For the past 8 years, ever since Spanky realized it was a fun thing to argue with Queen Mommy, we have been engaged in the Battle of the Batman. I'm talking the Great Batman Debate. Our topic: Is Batman a superhero or not?

While Spanky is quite insistant that Batman is, indeed, a superhero (um, duh, he's in the Justice League), I maintain that he's just an eccentric rich guy with a plethora of odd habits and just as many wonderful toys {random movie reference - did anyone notice?}

Batman doesn't have x-ray vision. He has Bat-Goggles. He doesn't have the ability to fly; he has the Batplane and a Batcopter. Speed? Nah...he has the Batmobile and a Batbike. He doesn't even have supersonic hearing so he can tell when someone's in trouble; he has to rely on a really cheesy Bat Signal that EVERYONE can see. He throws little Batpellets that explode and make people pass out (whoopdee doo) and he uses Bathooks to climb walls and tie people up (again, I say, whoopdee doo). But no superpowers.

He's got great friends. I mean, the Justice Leaguers alone should be commended for allowing him into their ranks. He's a mere mortal, with no superpowers, and you've got Superman, The Flash, Green Lantern, Hawk Girl, Wonder Woman and Martian Manhunter all with these incredibly cool powers...and bizarre stories of how they got them...just letting little Bruce Wayne join them for some crimefighting fun. And that doesn't take into account the new guys who are a part of Justice League Unlimited.

Don't get me wrong. I love Batman. I think he's cool and he's all about taking care of the bad guys, which is a great thing to see. I'm a little concerned about him though; he likes to dress up in tights and a little mask and cape and he hangs out under his mansion with ugly, nasty bats. I bet there's bat poop down there. I bet it stinks. Then again, he has a butler, so what does he care?

So The Great Bat Debate continues. I say Batman is just a man, with a little too much time on his hands, since he seems to be a master of everything he's ever done. Spanky says he's a superhero (although he has no grounds to prove it). I doubt we'll ever agree. It's much too fun this way.