The New Phone Books are Here! I'm Somebody Now!!

I couldn't fall asleep last night. I wanted to; I just couldn't. I tried everything in my arsenal. I said all the states in alphabetical order. I said all the state capitals in alphabetical order. Then REVERSE alphabetical order. NOTHING.

It was time for the big guns. I counted backwards from 1299 to 0. Twice. Still nothing. By now it was midnight and I was just a little cranky, frankly. I started listing 5-letter nouns - in alphabetical order. (Yes, I lack imagination). STILL NOTHING.

Somehow I came up with the thought of that game "Six Degrees of Separation." I figured if everyone is connected to Kevin Bacon by 6 degrees or less, then they must be connected to me in the same way. Surely I'm as popular as Kevin Bacon.

It didn't take long (seriously, about 5 minutes) before I made a 2-degree connection between me and Oprah. That's not something I'm proud of, but it does help where I'm going with this. See, in my former life as an insurance agent, I worked at a company with a branch in Columbia. And one of the employees that I mingled with every Christmas for 5 years had a daughter who just up and vanished one year. It was huge news here. And he managed to get on Oprah to talk about it. And you know what that means...

I am only 3 degrees of separation from every single person who has ever been on Oprah. Hello, Will Smith. Hello, Harry Connick Jr. And most importantly, Hello, Jon Bon Jovi!!!

(Let's all just reflect for a moment on the hotness that is Jon Bon Jovi. OK)

Needless to say, this little exercise didn't do much to help me fall asleep. But it sure made me feel important for about 3 minutes.

Top 5 Things That Jingled My Bells This Christmas

1. Spanky got a TV video game "thing" that is like a bad Wii...but it's still pretty cute. It has boxing, baseball and tennis. Watching the kid try to beat the video boxer had me on the floor in stitches this morning.

2. Every single time FrogBoy opened a gift, regardless of whether he knew what it was or not, he exclaimed, "OH, THANK YOU!!! It's just what I've ALWAYS wanted!!"

3. We had 4 generations of my family - the tapestry that makes it up on the holidays - sitting in my aunt's den watching "The Best of Weird Al Yankovick" videos. THAT was awesome!

4. I got the best card ever from Zach. It was a Hannakuh card. He carefully went through and replaced "Hannakuh" with "Christmas" to make it holiday-appropriate.

5. I got furry lined Crocs. VERY nice.

Last year, my grandmother was in the hospital, so we couldn't all be together at my aunt's. Thanksgiving, Spanky and SuperHubby were home sick. Today we were all together - and relatively healthy - so that was superb.

On the way home, I decided to stop by my mom's house. Her husband worked all day, so she'd been alone. We managed to surprise her and it was PRICELESS.

And we saw SuperHubby's mom and grandpop...which we normally do, but on some other day than Christmas Day. They came to our house this morning.

So it was a very busy day, but very wonderful, and I'm super-thankful for all my family, even though most of them drive me nuts on a regular basis. If it weren't for them, what would I write about?

Super Support

So yesterday, as I was driving SuperHubby home from physical therapy, because I am a kind, considering, caring wife that way, I told him about something I was thinking about doing. A little writing venture that I felt like God might want me to take on. And do you know what the love of my life did?

He laughed out loud.

Guess who's walking next week?

ShopFest 2007

Every year, a month or two before Christmas, my mother-in-law (The Smurf) and I spend a good portion of the day shopping. Sometimes the boys go with us (we don't get much accomplished when that happens); other times, it's just the two of us, which is a glorious thing.

This year, we didn't get to do our annual shopping until this past weekend. That's right, the second weekend before Christmas, and we were out in the craziness. What's worse was that I had no choice...because of SuperHubby's physical therapy schedule, the Mom Taxi has been running overtime up and down the highway, which meant no time to shop. You can't exactly buy presents for your kids when they're always with you.

So Saturday we left at 8:15 a.m. First I went out and got my family breakfast (donuts and coffee for SH, munchkins for the boys) and a newspaper. I picked The Smurf up at 8:15 and we hit the ground running. We shopped. We thought we would drop. But we didn't. Long story short, we got home at 9:30 p.m. - and neither of us was even slightly tired. I think I could have gone for several more hours, but at that point I was done.

Yep, I managed to put off 90% of my shopping until the week before Christmas, and I got it all done in one day. We even hit some super sales. Who knew? I'm usually done with my shopping in August, so this was a whole new experience for me.

To all those who still have shopping to do, I feel for you. It's crazy out there. I don't plan on going back outside until December 26. But I will say ShopFest 2007 was a raging success. And a new tradition may have been born.

How Smart Are You?

This is a quiz for people who think they know everything. These are not trick questions.

My mother sent me this quiz. I was really impressed with myself because I got most of the questions right. I only missed two.

How smart are you? Extra points if you can guess the 2 I missed...

1. Name the one sport in which neither the participants nor the spectators know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw" and they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter "s."

I told my mother not to send this to The Professor. If he gets more than me, I'll cry in my cereal until morning. However, I really don't see that happening. Without the incessant ticking of the Jeopardy clock, I believe I may have him beat!

Christmas List

A friend of mine sent me one of those emails where you answer the questions and forward it to all your friends...then hopefully they'll do the same...and you'll all learn something new about each other. I don't have that many friends, so I figured I'd just put my answers on my blog and maybe some random stranger in Michigan might read it. How fun.

This is a Christmas dealio, hence the blog title. Here we go...

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Both

2. Real tree or artificial? Real - although one year I tried to convince SH and the boys we could just paint one on the wall

3. When do you put up the tree? 2-3 weeks before Christmas

4. When do you take the tree down? Before January 1, preferrably December 26

5. Do you like eggnog? GROSS

6. Favorite gift received as a child? I don't recall any specific gift, but my grandparents and aunt used to give us an ornament every year on Christmas Eve. I still have all of those.

7. Have a nativity scene? Yes - at my aunt's house. I get to visit it every year until she dies - then I get it back.

8. Hardest person to buy for? My grandmother

9. Easiest person to buy for? FrogBoy - Legos all the way

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I had a boyfriend in high school who gave me a board game called "Intimate Commands" - in front of my parents - as a joke. It wasn't funny.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? REAL cards - the only way to go - with pictures!

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Scrooged, with Bill Murray. If you can get past the language, it's a great story.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? August

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No...that takes all the fun out of it

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Used to be Grandmama's stuffing...now it's Aunt Linda's stuffing...someone probably needs to teach Ann how to make it eventually

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Colored

17. Favorite Christmas song? It's a tie between Joy to the World and Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Home - everyone's here, so it's great

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? OF COURSE

20. Angel on top of the tree or star? Angel

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Just 2 options? Seriously. We have Christmas with my mother, my family on my dad's side, Adam's mom (all before Christmas) and then at our house Christmas morning.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Vendors accosting me in the mall. I'm a get in, get your gift, get out kind of gal.

23. What I love most about Christmas? Watching my kids open their presents.

24. Best Christmas dessert? Grandmama's boiled custard.
I think that's about all for this little quiz. Sorry there's nothing overly interesting there...but that's what gets it for me at Christmas.

Help Needed

I have somehow managed to screw up my blogger settings - again. I can no longer choose which font I want to use, and whenever I try to bold something, it inserts a little dealio that I can't even copy here, because then I get an HTML error.

So if anyone know what the stink I've done, please help me.

I'm Gonna Pee My Pants

Michael Jackson is on the cover of Ebony magazine this month.

The only thing funnier than that is the conversation I had with Spanky when I saw it. I was telling him that I found it quite humorous - and why - when Spanky said, "He used to be BLACK?!"

Awesome.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I love Thanksgiving. It is by far my most favorite holiday. You get all the great food (usually) with all the great family time, but where we live, you can still wear shorts. That's nice. You don't have to rush around to a million places (at least we don't), and you don't have to schlep anything with you but your kids and whatever dishes you signed up to bring to the meal. Again, very nice.

But the best part of this time of year is that I get to start organizing for the NEXT year. Oh baby! I have to hold myself off from August to November, but once we hit Thanksgiving, all bets are off. At least in August I can appease myself with new school supplies and the joy that comes from (a) smelling and (b) organizing new pencils and packs of notebook paper. But I digress.

The thing that really makes my heart sing is gearing up for a new year. I get to have all new, fresh, unwritten-on file folders. My Quicken program starts on a new year. Two words: NEW DAYTIMER!!! A new year is a thing of beauty.

I know, most people dread filing away the old and starting over with the new. But I crave it. So does my brother. (It may be inherited.) I have finally managed to convince Spanky to let me help him organize his room by telling him that we have to make room for all the Christmas gifts he's going to get. Oh, like you never lied to your kids just to get some simple enjoyment out of cleaning their room?

FrogBoy is pretty well organized. He likes his Legos just so...and before he goes to bed at night, he fills the 8 (yes, 8) boxes back up and stacks them neatly on the storage cubes in the corner of his room. I guess that's a huge blessing of autism...even if he doesn't really like to do it, I only had to tell him a couple of times and now it's a routine...so he's going to do it. It's ingrained in his innermost being. I love that!

If you need me between now and January 1, I will probably be sitting at my desk organizing my papers - with a huge grin on my face (commonly referred to as the Salley grin). Oh happy day!

Purse Ponderings

Let's get something out of the way right up front: this blog is 100% about purses. If you're a guy, you may not be interested...but I bet you'll keep reading anyway.

I've been pining for a leather Fossil purse for quite some time now. Since I can in no way afford a leather Fossil purse, I snuck it onto my Christmas list, thinking there was no way I'd ever get it. There's a puppy on that list too.

Anyway, my aunt and my grandmother decided that if that's what I really want...which of course, it is...they would give me money toward a leather Fossil purse. It is my job to find the purse of my dreams. And while that sounds like a relatively simple task, given my love for purses, in reality it is almost as difficult as deciding what to name my children.

This past weekend I was at the Fossil outlet store in North Charleston. I don't normally like the outlet mall, but remember, I needed Fossil, and I can't afford it without it being from the outlet store. So I dealt with it.

Now I've been drooling over several bags at this particular store for quite some time, but never paying much attention, because I knew I couldn't afford anything. This time was different. This time I was checking every tag. And I found my dream purse. Hallelujah. The angels sang.

Of course, they only had one left in the style and size I want. And it is tan. TAN. What a lovely non-color. Wouldn't you think, if you were going to make the perfect bag, that you would offer it in an array of colors? Like red, mainly? But no. They have TAN.

So I've been mulling over my decision for several days now. Do I go with the perfect bag in NOT RED, or continue looking for a red bag and possibly never find The Perfect Bag again? What to do? Sometimes life just isn't fair.

Thank-Full

After a very strange Thanksgiving, I am finally getting around to updating my blog. Normally I'd be too bloated to blog for at least 2 days after turkey day, but this year, my family tried something a little different...bizarro Thanksgiving.

You know how every year someone manages to screw up the dish they're bringing...so you just do without that particular food item that year? Okay, that was this year...except it happened to EVERYONE. Which meant that my meal consisted of stuffing and corn casserole.

On top of that, SuperHubby was still suffering from severe vertigo, which meant he felt terrible and wasn't going to go to my aunt and uncle's for lunch. Turned out that was okay, because Spanky woke up, ate breakfast, and promptly puked all over the place. So it was just me and FrogBoy as far as Fitzgeralds went this year.

Then my dad, who always adds a little levity to the situation (usually not intentionally), managed to knock over a vase, which shattered into a million pieces. And my grandmother's husband knocked into a shelf, which deposited knick knacks on his head. Oh my.

Still, I managed to come up with a list of things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving. Here, in no particular order, I give you...

1. School holidays. Yes, I know I'm not in school. But I love it when my kids don't have homework and can just enjoy themselves for a couple of extra days.
2. Horse therapy. This has been an amazing thing for FrogBoy the past couple of months. Today I asked if he wanted to go feed the horses at my aunt's house and he said "SURE!" On the 4th of July, they dragged him out there kicking and screaming. And that hasn't been the only change...he has gained incredible confidence and skill in riding. It has truly been a blessing.
3. Caller ID. Remember what I said about my dad?
4. Purses. Daytimers. Boxes and bins and rubbermaid storage totes. No explanation necessary.
5. My aunt's stuffing. Previously known as my grandmother's stuffing, until my aunt took over making it. Even this year, when it was a little runny and I forgot to bring home the gravy for my leftovers. The only thing I don't like about it is that I only get it twice a year.
6. Fantastic hair. We all know I have it, but now it's out there.
7. My job. I was talking to the Smurf (my mother-in-law) last week, telling her that Geoff (boss #1) was back from India, and how glad I was about it. She gave me a quizzical look. I told her I couldn't help it, but I miss my boss when he's away. Then I mentioned that Shawn (boss #2) would be out the entire week of Thanksgiving...and I would miss him too. She told me I had always enjoyed my job way more than she could understand. I started thinking about that and realized that I do love my job, but I also really enjoy the people I get to work with. And that is a really cool thing.
8. Jon Bon Jovi. Oh my. What can I say? JBJ is quite possibly the most gorgeous specimen God ever created. He's extremely talented, has been married to the same woman for a bazillion years, and doesn't do stupid stuff, at least not so the media gets ahold of it. And did I mention he's gorgeous? And he knows he's hot...but in that precious, little boy way, not a cocky way. That makes him even more hot.
9. Gifts. Not presents, gifts. When Geoff came back from India, he brought me a gift. Shawn recently pinky-swore (in front of witnesses) that I would be the first person not involved in his book to read his book. Gifts are from the heart and tell me the person was thinking about me, even if it was extremely brief and fleeting. I'm not big into presents. I love gifts.

Of course, I'm also thankful for my family, mostly because they give me something to blog about...but also because they really are a lot of fun. Thanksgiving is the best holiday - it gives you time to reflect on what's important - like family. And Jon Bon Jovi.

Skinny Jeans

What a giant load of crap. A total misnomer. There is no such thing as skinny jeans.

Their name suggests that skinny jeans make you skinny, or, at the very least, make you look skinny. This is simply not the case. Skinny jeans are the jeans fat girls wish they could wear. The jeans skinny girls already wear. Which they call jeans.

It is just not necessary for these flightly little stick people to call them "skinny" jeans. It's not like I call my jeans "whale" jeans.

Let's not point out the obvious, people.

Sibling Rivalry

So I haven't posted in a while, and I have some really important stuff to say, but I just couldn't let this story pass...

Seems this couple was set to deliver twins...on Sunday. The first baby, a little boy, was born at 1:32 a.m. His sister was born 34 minutes later, but because of Daylight Savings Time, she was born at 1:06 a.m. (I'll wait while some of the slower folks do the math there).

So even though this poor kid managed to sneak out before his sister, and in reality he's 34 minutes older than her, all official records of their birth show her as being older. Isn't that the most bizarro thing ever? I wonder what the odds are.

Just shows you that girls will figure out a way to mess with their older brothers regardless of what it takes.

SuperSexy


So there's SuperHubby, extremely happy with me (can you tell?). Isn't he just the cutest?

Now That's What I Call Music

A couple of weekends ago, I made a little trip to my brother's house and had him load up my MP3 player with songs. I did this for 2 reasons: (1) I thought SuperHubby might be going to the hospital and I wanted something to listen to, and (2) I am cheap, and didn't want to pay for the music.

So he downloads a bunch of songs that he had on his computer. One group that he rather enjoys is a local group, The Fire Apes. He enjoys them because his buddy, John Seymour, a teaching and running friend of his, is the lead singer. He actually also knows SuperHubby, but that's not the point.

The Professor (my brother, for those who can't keep up) and sis-in-law (if you can't figure this out, stop reading now - you're just stupid) have tried several times to get us to go to see The Fire Apes play. Unfortunately, it's usually "Hey, they're playing tonight, can you get a sitter and meet us there in 2 hours."

But I was really enjoying their style of music. I listened to a couple of songs. I also listened quite intently to every single 80s song (and Johnny Cash song) he downloaded for me. And then I saw it. My name. Right there on my MP3 player. Sweet.

I have mentioned before how completely un-skilled I am at anything and everything gadgety, which is actually the 3rd reason why I drove 30 minutes to get him to put music on my MP3 player. I was looking at my name and thinking, "Okay, so he has named this group of songs Lori. Makes sense." Then the music started.

Yes, my friends, The Fire Apes have written a song called "Lori." I am pretending it is about me. It's an awesome song and they even spelled my name right, so it doesn't matter that I've never met anyone in the band. They wrote a song about me! How cool is that??!!

Shut it. How many of you have songs written about you? Okay then.

Name That Van

In random-weird-stuff-happening-to-Lori news, several people have mentioned to me in the past couple of days about why I haven't given a moniker to my new van. Frankly, I've been thinking about it...but I LOVE this van, so nothing along the lines of The Suppository will do. (yes, I loved her too, but in an I-hope-she-dies-soon kind of way).

So I was talking to Geoff about it yesterday, and was explaining that my first thought was Freida - as in Frigid Freida - because that girl can blast the A/C, let me tell you. This is a good thing, since 3 out of 4 Fitzgeralds are very hot-natured. And SH doesn't get to drive my van that much.

Then FrogBoy mentioned that I needed to name the van. That was odd. His suggestion? Princess Mommy Mobile. I like it, but the initials (PMM for those of you who are really slow) are a little close to PMS, which would make more sense but is slightly hurtful.

I also thought of Maxine, although I have no reason other than I think it sounds cool.

So...any suggestions out there in blogworld? Certainly the 3 people who read this can come up with something. I'm counting on you to name my van...don't disappoint me!!!

Only Me

This morning, as I was driving to work (early - and alone - since FrogBoy has a bad case of the skitters, and there's a RULE that you can't go to school with the scoots) - I realized there was a funny noise coming from the front end of the van. Now I am very adept at noticing these things, although I am horrible at describing them, so I shut off the radio to get a proper feel for the noise before I put SuperHubby on alert.

Fast forward just a few minutes, and I am CONVINCED that there is something alive in my glove box. It sounds like it's scratching and clawing and trying to get out - and near me. It didn't help that FrogBoy had horse therapy yesterday and so OF COURSE a field mouse somehow must have gotten in my car and is too stupid to get out. Now I'm cussing mice while simultaneously figuring out how to escape the car without crashing into a tree.

Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am a total weenie when it comes to anything of the rodent variety. If you didn't, (a) now you know and (b) DUH!!! So I call SuperHubby, who you would think would be in a rather good mood (other than the possible brain infection issue) because who do you think got up at 4 a.m. with scooter boy? Certainly not my main man. Sometimes that whole deaf thing comes in really handy. But I digress.

So I call my knight in shining armor, preface the entire conversation by explaining that I know it's going to sound weird, but he's been married to me for a long time and should be used to it by now, and I'm just SURE something alive is in my glove box. Could he possibly meet me in front of the house and check it for me? (Okay, he may have been a little cranky because it was 6:30 a.m. and he's so NOT a morning person...but I had a mouse in my car - with me!!)

So I go home, and SH checks the glove box. Nothing. Then he checks the other glove box. Still nothing. I must say I was a little disappointed. I mean, honestly, there was something knocking around in there. He tells me to listen for the noise to happen again and take note of when it does it. Of course, it hasn't done it since.

Guess it just needed a little TLC from SH. And now I look like a big dummy that's afraid of the cell charger in my glove box.

Good News / Bad News

Good News: MUSC still hasn't called
Bad News: We're only on day 8 (last time it took until day 14) and the neurologist thinks we're looking at an infection.

Good News: FrogBoy continues to do amazingly well with horse therapy. The teacher thinks he will be riding independently by December.
Bad News: His horse is 28 years old. That sounds really old to me.

Good News: Spanky continues to do exceedingly well in 7th grade.
Bad News: Spanky is almost 13.

Good News: I got 6 inches cut off my hair last week and it looks more fabulous than ever.
Bad News: I am still fat.

A Day in the Life...
a.k.a. WHAZZUP?!

Since I posted earlier in the week about SuperHubby, I thought I should probably post again to update everyone. This is mostly for my sanity, because I can't for the life of me remember who I've told what, although it also gives me another chance to call him SH, which his uncle apparently thinks means something ENTIRELY different from SuperHubby (I'll give everyone a minute to catch up - it took me a little bit, so all the nice people who read my blog - both of you - might have to email me privately). Suffice it to say, today, SH is acting like the 2nd meaning of the word.

Anywho, SH has been feeling lousy all week. Nothing new, so there's really nothing to report. Oh, except today he felt compelled to try to jog. Which didn't go well. DUH. So I am a wee bit ticked. Meanwhile, he cleaned the entire house, because that's what we do when he feels lousy like this, just in case. Which means he's saying he thinks it's his RLS medication, but he's worried it isn't.

To top off the loveliness with SH, Spanky went to the Allnighter at church last night. Suddenly Spanky is Cranky. And he managed to hurt his knee so he's been milking that all day. Lovely.

Meanwhile, FrogBoy has been totally precious, even coming up to me earlier this evening and asking me if I was happy. I wonder if that kid realizes how much he makes me smile.

So...in a nutshell...and I emphasize NUT...it's the same old, same old here. I am just holding on tight and hoping things don't go upside down this week.

Life Verse

A lot of people I know have chosen life verses for themselves...verses that sum up everything that is anything in their lives...and I have discovered mine...

Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out...
Luke 12:33

CowFrog Photos

Yesterday was FrogBoy's 2nd time at horse therapy. I thought I'd share some pix.

So yesterday started out relatively stinky for FrogBoy (he told me when I picked him up at school that it was a terrible day...and apparently, according to his teacher, he was right). Being a cowboy makes everything better though! He even got to trot (2nd to last picture - notice the grin!)

Be A Buddy

This month there is a Buddy Walk here in Charleston for families affected by Downs Syndrome. Since my BFF has a son (Nick) with Downs, and my boy BFF has a daughter (Coleman) with Downs, I wanted to get the word out to as many people as possible about this exciting event.

You can visit Scott and Meghan's site to see about being a buddy for Coleman. My girl BFF lives in the upstate and hasn't sent me any information on a Buddy Walk there...but I will keep everyone updated. Click here to see about donating for Coleman and the Kinney family.
http://buddywalk.kintera.org/lowcountry/colemankinney?faf=1&e=1233106221

I would like to point out that I am NOT walking, I am merely donating. Anyone who knows me knows I don't walk unless someone's chasing me. Frankly, I think it might distract from the Buddy Walk if I had a coronary event right there.

There's an autism walk each spring; somehow I always manage to miss that as well. I MEAN to go, I just don't get around to it. Anyway, this is a great chance to help out some great people -

SuperHubby Update

So SH hasn't been feeling all that great for a couple of weeks. It finally bottomed out this weekend when we realized he had all the symptoms of something funky going down with the shunt. I lovingly suggested that he call the doctor. He lovingly told me to butt out. By yesterday morning, he was offering to go to the ER if that would make me feel better. Anyone who knows SH knows this is not a good sign.

He left for the ER at 1:30. I got 2 text messages from him around 4:00 and then nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Not good for the nerves. I finally called the ER and found out they were running the full series of shunt tests and I really just needed patience, thank you very much.

After 9 hours in the ER, SH was released to come home. He was feeling lousy so I went and picked him up. (Thanks to Kelly and the Smurf, who helped me with logistics!). When I got there, he was terribly nauseous from the spinal tap so they had to give him phenergan in his IV – and we had to stay until that starting working. He also had a terrible headache that nothing was touching. It was a pressure headache but could have been caused by the spinal tap – that makes the fluids decrease quickly, which can cause a pressure headache. He said the doc took a lot of fluid so we’re thinking that was a contributor to the bad headache.

Finally got him squared away and had to run to the 24-hour CVS for Lortab for his headache and Gatorade to try to replenish some of his fluids. Got him home around 10:30. He didn’t sleep well – he was screaming and jerking and the norm when he’s like this – so I haven’t slept a wink (yeah, right, poor me). I left him in bed when I took the boys to school but had to run home because a teacher got makeup on my shirt and he was awake and prepping to come to work.

Right now we just wait. The culture they tested last night was clear but the doc was talking a lot about the last time he had an infection and how the bacteria grew so slowly and how they’ll really have to keep any eye on it again. SH is nervous. We have to monitor him very carefully over the next couple of weeks and return to the ER if there are changes.

So if you think about it today, please pray for SH.

Even More Stuff about Me

For those not in the know, the title of this post (and the other 2 that give all sorts of interesting tidbits about my life) are directly stolen from a group of books called, Parts, More Parts and Even More Parts. They are these great books that I got for FrogBoy to help with idioms. They are very cute.

I think I have finally come up with the last 1/3 of my list. In no particular order...

1. My favorite flowers are carnations.
2. I LOVE boiled peanuts. They are quite possibly God's gift to the human race.
3. I also love pumpkin cheesecake. Or oreo cheesecake. Or even butterfinger cheesecake. Cheesecake is a good thing.
4. My favorite movie of all time is The Sound of Music.
5. I had a stuffed bear named Betty Bear when I was a baby. It was bigger than me when I was born. I had her until last year, when one of our stupid dogs ripped her to shreds. I found her lifeless body in the backyard. I am ashamed to admit I cried.
6. Growing up, I idolized Def Leppard.
7. I really think I could be a vegetarian. I like an occasional steak, and I love seafood, but I'm not big on beef or chicken. And I actually love tofu.
8. I have a tattoo on my right ankle. I want another one - possibly on my left shoulder.
9. I LOVE anything and everything pertaining to Veggie Tales. I try to blame it on the kids, but it's really me. The best? Josh and the Big Wall - the French Peas - of course.
10. I am terribly, deathly afraid of flying.
11. My favorite sandwich consists of cheddar cheese, miracle whip and smushed lays potato chips on white bread. Heart attack on a plate.
12. I absolutely adore Neil Diamond.
13. I can't parallel park. I have never done it, not even for my driving test.
14. I am double jointed in my elbows and thumbs.
15. I can't cook, but I make something called Lori's Awesome Nachos that are really good.
16. The first thing I do when I get home is take off my shoes. It doesn't matter what time of year it is, I can't stand having shoes on my feet.
17. I love salad - hold the lettuce. Yes, I'm that weird.
18. I fill my gas tank when it gets to the halfway mark (credit years of emergency trips to MUSC with SuperHubby for that) but I never, ever check the oil in my car.
19. I was head cheerleader for my brother's little league football team. The only reason I was head cheerleader was because I was the tallest girl out there.
20. I sing at the top of my lungs in the car. It embarrasses the snot out of my children. I don't care.
21. I sleep with my right leg kicked out from under the covers. Even in winter.
22. I am named after my grandmother and my mother.
23. I love hurricanes.
24. I hate bugs (but I'm getting better - I no longer freak out when I see them).
25. There's nothing better than watching a cheesy movie on Lifetime or Sci-Fi Channel.
26. I was very brave this weekend - I got 6 inches cut off my most fabulous hair.

I still can't think of the rest of my list - so I guess I'm just not that interesting. Anyone who knows me and comes up with something I forgot, feel free to post - just be nice.

In the Kitchen with Lori

I found this pretty cool website the other day called www.startcooking.com. For those who really haven't been paying attention, I can't cook - at all - which is one reason I married a chef. (The fact that he was really cute didn't hurt matters.)

So I thought I would check out this website. After all, they claim to be able to take people like me, with absolutely no cooking talent, and teach them how to cook. I figured they were lying - most sites do when they're trying to let people know what their site is about - so I decided to check it out. I can't boil water, so how can I cook a gourmet meal?

I was pleasantly surprised to find that on this site, they actually teach you how to do the basics - for example - they walk you through the steps of boiling an egg, complete with video instruction. Then they teach you how to make things with that boiled egg (delived eggs anyone? how about egg salad??)

While this sounds pathetic to most of you reading this, it makes me very happy. I won't have to bother SuperHubby if I need to make rice. (spaghetti and pop tarts get old after awhile, even if you do rotate them in the menu). I haven't tried anything yet, just experimenting with the website for now...but watch for a future post on The Queen Conquering the Kitchen!

Cowboy Words of Wisdom

So FrogBoy has to write a friendly letter to a classmate each week at school. Each student gets to be "Star of the Week" for one week during the year - they get to do all the fun class chores, they get friendly letters from everyone else in the class, and they get to make a poster all about themselves. This must be big in elementary school, because Froggie has done it every year since first grade. But I digress.

Froggie's letter this week was to Walker. And here is what my precious child wrote:

Dear Walker,
I've been to a barn in Awendaw and I just became a cowboy! I rode on a he-horse named Danny and we played games and made a "victory" hand sign. It also had a store cat mascot named Oreo. It's fun at the barn.
Sincerely,
Michael F.

Who can tell me the people at equine therapy don't have an amazing gift from God?

Happiness

109 days til Christmas!!

Cowboy Mike

Tuesday was another amazing day in our house. FrogBoy started equine therapy. I have never seen anything like it in my entire life.

It took us about 30 minutes to get there...and I got lost 3 times before I actually found the place. We're talking backwoods, people. Anyway, as we're driving in, we notice roosters and hens, cats, dogs, and of course, lots and lots of horses. This is going to be interesting.

See, Froggie doesn't really care for animals that much - although he does like smaller dogs - and he certainly doesn't like being outdoors. He has a hate/hate relationship with dragonflies and butterflies and most other bugs that fly. I figured we had a long day ahead of us.

So we go in and he changes into his jeans, because, as Miss Leslie told him, he's going to be a cowboy today and ride bareback. WHAT?! I really thought the first day would just be, "Hello, this is a horse, see you next week." Anyway, he gets changed and picks a helmet, which takes a few minutes because you want just the right one, and then we're off.

Now I have to say, these people know what they're doing. They should - they do this equine therapy for autistic kids and handicapped kids alike, so you want to make sure no one gets hurt. But they had Miss Leslie, who was in charge, and then Miss Julie, Miss Susan and Mr. Rick - one in front, leading the horse, and one on either side, making sure the kid doesn't slide off. Oh, and Danny.

Danny was the horse. Danny was the coolest horse ever. I have never seen such a gentle creature. He was amazing. Again, I'm sure they screen for this, but he was on his mark Tuesday. He sniffed Froggie to get his "stench" (FrogMan's words, not mine), and then they all went to the ring. I got left behind, outside the gate. Story of my life.

Miss Leslie explained some things to Froggie and told him that Danny wanted to play games with him - Danny loves to play games. Froggie found this to be good information. Miss Leslie asked Froggie to mount Danny. Froggie said, "Um, no thanks." Polite kid.

Miss Leslie then explained that Danny really wanted to play, but they couldn't play the games if Froggie wasn't actually ON Danny. They walked through the games without the horse, and my little FrogMan, who can't stand animals or the outdoors or bugs (and there were plenty!) actually RAN over to the horse and mounted up like he's been riding for years! These people really know what they're doing!

Now at this point, I must point out that I was crying and trying to pretend like the wind was causing my eyes to water. I knew if they didn't get FrogBoy on a horse that day, it wouldn't be happening. He's a little like me. But there he was, riding like a pro.

He rode with both hands. Then he started petting Danny while he was riding (he was told to do this, he didn't just start doing it because he felt like it). Then he would reach back and try to touch his tail while riding. He had great posture and would correct himself when he started to slip. He used his voice commands and even learned a non-verbal command for Danny. Froggie was happy. Danny was happy. I was ecstatic.

Eventually they played the games, which were pretty cool. I think Danny was even smiling, although I could have imagined that. Then they had Froggie do a victory lap, during which he actually rode around the ring with both hands in the air - incredible!

All the while, I had Oreo the cat hanging out on top of my feet. And I don't even like cats!

After they were finished, I talked with Miss Leslie and she was very impressed with how well the first lesson went. She actually used the word "miraculous." I think that may be a little strong, but it was nothing short of REALLY COOL.

In the car, FrogBoy told me how proud of him everyone would be. He is so right.

Then he asked me where babies come from. Ruined a great day. I asked him why he wanted to know and apparently he had seen it on a billboard. Thank you, East Cooper Hospital. Your silly little advertising gimmick has caused me to have acid reflux. Anyway, I asked where he thought they came from, and he said "From mommies tummies." Thank goodness I thought to ask before I went into an explanation - his answer was WAY better than mine!

And then, true to Froggie form, he said, "Yeah, they don't come from New Jersey, or lettuce, or mommies armpits."

What a great kid.

More Stuff about Me

So I took a little hiatus from blogging, but I'm back with some more tidbits about the goddess that is me. (Seriously, I wouldn't have to take time off from blogging if someone would donate a laptop to the cause)

Since I can't remember where I left off...here's some more...starting over at #1...

1. I was in a co-ed service fraternity in college.
2. I handle emergencies extremely well. Until they're over. When I have time to reflect on things, I tend to get a little iffy.
3. My favorite fruits (other than the ones I'm related to) are kiwi and pineapple.
4. I only wear jeans. If I'm in khakis, I'm dressed up.
5. Both my boys were born via c-section. This was not something that made me happy.
6. Saturday was my birthday.
7. I love my birthday.
8. I used to wear a charm bracelet that had so many charms on it, it sounded like a dog was walking around with me all the time. I had to stop wearing it.
9. If I had been a boy, I would have been named William Andrew Salley.
10. When I was little, I wanted to marry Scott Baio. Actually, I wanted to marry Cha-Chi, but that's not the point.
11. I also wanted to grow up to be a cashier at a grocery store. High aspirations.
12. Electronics confuse and amaze me.
13. I'm still not sure how my cell phone works.
14. I don't like change (there's a shocker).
15. I don't like the beach.
16. I don't have a name for my new van yet (although we've had some interesting suggestions).
17. I had a dream last week about a giant cockroach.
18. I LOVE to organize.
19. I love to READ about organizing.
20. I REALLY LOVE lists. I always have a master to-do list running, plus several smaller lists (things I'm waiting on, books I want to read, things like that). I make little boxes next to the items on my lists so I can tell if something is marked off. It brings me great joy to cross things off my list. And then I have to rewrite the list, because you can't have a sloppy to-do list. It's an obsession, really.
21. If someone gets married, has a baby or dies on TV or in a movie, I cry like a little girl. The burning, start-at-your-toes crying.
22. Not so much in real life with the crying though.
23. I don't like crowds.
24. I don't like coffee, soda or chocolate.
25. However, I love chocolate milk.
26. My primary love language is words of encouragement. My secondary love language is acts of service.
27. The first thing I do when I get home, regardless of the weather, is take off my shoes.
28. My favorite season is autumn. All 4 days of it.
29. I can't handle being late for anything. It makes me ill.
30. I rode out Hurricane Hugo with SuperHubby in a house in Goose Creek. We saw a porta-potty tossed end over end down the street.
31. I do not eat chicken in public.
32. I do not like to eat at buffets. If I am paying to dine out, I believe I should be served.
33. Contrary to popular belief, I am probably the most un-cool person on the planet.

That's all for now. I think I may have done 33 the first time too. Which of course means I'll have to do 33 the last time out the gate just to be consistent.

More Good Stuff

We got a van, we got a loan for some of the MUSC balance, and today, FrogBoy was accepted into the fall semester of a local equine therapy program. I have been wanting to get him started in this, since all the autism specialists say that horse therapy is really good for autistic kids, but it's not as easy as it sounds. However, I talked with the owner today and they have accepted him into the program; I am just waiting for the schedule to come out. Medicaid doesn't cover the costs, so we'll be trimming the budget to make it work...but we'll figure it out. Add this to the fact that Spanky is at the middle school we wanted, and August is turning out to be quite a fine month after all...!

God just keeps showing up and showing off!

God is Good, ALL the Time

So last week I was whining a bit. Life was hard.

On Wednesday, one of my best friends asked me to attend staff prayer because he was speaking and he needed a friendly face for support. Yes, he picked me. Keep reading and you'll realize it was totally a God thing.

His topic was "God is faithful and He wants to bless you." He spoke a lot about his little girl; but at the end, he included some car blessings he and his wife have had over the years. I listened to him and thought "How awesome for them!" End of story.

Or so I thought. I couldn't sleep that night. Being ever-so-sharp, around midnight I figured maybe God needed my attention for something. So I started praying. I like to sleep, so I was hoping we could get to the point quickly. Well, I really felt like God was telling me that I hadn't completely turned over my car situation to Him, even though I thought I had, so I decided right then and there to stop fretting and just thank God daily that I was one day closer to my new car. I didn't know how many days I'd have to pray that way, but it was okay. And I slept like a baby.

Cut to the chase: Thursday morning, someone close to me blessed me with - not just a car - but the desire of my heart, a van. I had told my aunt earlier in the week that I wasn't even thinking along those lines, because I KNEW I'd never get what I really wanted...another van. I had made up my mind to be thrilled with a station wagon or small sedan. But God wants to give us the desires of our heart, and he did with me last week!

If you happen to know who gave me the van, please don't post it on the blog, or approach them about it. They aren't about that. I considered not even posting this so as to not draw attention to their gift, but I had to let everyone know what the Lord had done for us.

It's really funny - we wanted to give away the suppository, but she was so nasty, no one would take her. She didn't move 3 feet. We had to sell her for scrap. We felt a little guilty about selling her. But we made enough from her to put insurance and pay taxes on the new-to-us van. It still amazes me how God has all this lined up if we'll just get out of His way. He wants to bless us. We just have to move over and let Him.

Stuff about Me

My sis-in-law recently blogged 50 random facts about herself. My most recent posts have been whiney, so this inspired me to post something fun...at least something I hope will be fun. So without further ado...and in no particular order...

1. My favorite color is brown (right now).
2. I love 80s music. I can sing anything and everything 80s, tell you the artist and probably act out the music video.
3. I have nuturally fabulous hair (no kidding).
4. I have cut my naturally fabulous hair very short 3 times in my entire life. My mother did it once when I was young, major trauma ensued, and I didn't do it again until high school. At that point, SH (who was only a crush at the time) told me I looked like a boy. More trauma. Then I cut it again after FrogBoy was born. It was completely uneven and I looked horrible. No more haircuts for Lori!
5. I love boxing, martial arts and football.
6. I will watch any action film, any time, anywhere.
7. While I am not a fan of the girlie films, I enjoy spending my weekends curled up on my bed with a glass of sweet tea, a magazine or book on organizing, and a cheesy Lifetime TV movie.
8. My first car was a 1989 fire-engine red Plymouth Sundance. It was actually purchased in 1989, from a dealership. My car payment was $127.36 a month.
9. I was a licensed insurance agent for 10 years before I started working at Seacoast. That sounds impossible, but I got my license when I was 18.
10. I also got my drivers license when I was 18. Just didn't care about it until then.
11. I loved being pregnant.
12. I originally wanted to have 4 children, 2 boys and 2 girls, preferrably 1 set of twins. How cute to think I had any say in the matter.
13. I lived next door to my grandparents and my aunt when I was growing up.
14. I love to cross stitch. I have done Rainbow Row 3 times.
15. I was on the track team when I was in middle school. For 1 day. Then I was disqualified because my grades weren't up to snuff.
16. I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome (and you thought I was just cranky).
17. I type a bazillion words a minute.
18. I am working on creating the PERFECT daytimer.
19. My favorite poet is Emily Dickinson.
20. I used to write poetry ( a long time ago).
21. I climbed to the top of a local water tower in high school. I climbed right back down when the property owner threatened to call the police. Who knew THAT was illegal??
22. I can say all 50 states in alphabetical order in under 30 seconds.
23. I have a BB lodged in my butt (near my spine).
24. The same year I got shot with the BB, I got 2nd degree burns on my hand from tossing hot grease into a frying pan. And people wonder why I don't cook.
25. I love to play games. No one else in my house does.
26. I love thunderstorms (if I'm at home).
27. I don't like driving at night or in the rain...or worse, at night IN the rain.
28. I am horrible on road trips that last more than 30 minutes.
29. I love dogs. I would have a dozen if SH would let me.
30. One of my favorite groups is The Statler Brothers. If you don't know who they are, Google them...they are the most awesome country group ever.
31. I will watch any episode of "I Love the 80s," "Law & Order" (any version) or "NYPD Blue" if it comes on. Ditto that for the "Rocky" and "Die Hard" movies.
32. My favorite movie of all time is "The Sound of Music."
33. There are days I still wish I could have had more children.

Okay, so I didn't come up with 50 on my first effort. I will post more later, when Froggie isn't needing help finding a Lego RIGHT NOW. Hope this gave some insight into the fascinating person that is ME :-)

But the Good News Is...

Since I've been whining lately about the suppository and MUSC, I thought I would share some good news.

It occurred to me last night that MUSC has now managed to screw up every single account we have with them. This doesn't include FrogBoy's weekend visit to the ER, which I am relatively certain they will foul up as well, but all of SuperHubby's brain surgery accounts have been handled poorly and caused me great unhappiness.

That means I don't have to worry about anything else "popping up" for now.

At least they mess up the accounting and not the surgery. I guess I can live with that.

Let's Make a Deal

My friend Robin told me this afternoon about a car she saw for sale. It was a black Volvo station wagon, which I have decided is what I would really like to have, for only $5000. That sounds like a good price to me. That also sounds like about $4990 more than we have right now.

I've heard of people doing clever, creative things to raise money for college or to pay off their mortgages early. Some people take out a classified ad and just ask for $1 donation outright. Some people sell recipes. Well, I think it's rather nervy to just ask for $1 donation and not offer anything in return, and I don't cook, therefore I have no recipes to sell. But I've been thinking. Here are a few things I would be willing to allow people to pay me to do:

1. I could be a personal shopper for purses - or daytimers - or both
2. I could cut my hair (okay, I wouldn't really do this, but I wanted to sound sincere)
3. I could sell my extensive collection of phone numbers to restaurants that deliver tasty goodness right to your front door
4. I could be your friend
5. I could sell hugs (although I probably wouldn't make anywhere close to $5000)
6. I could stand next to people in lightning storms, because I have the worst luck of anyone I know, and this would protect whomever was standing next to me
7. I could win "Don't Forget the Lyrics" (which would be possible only if I got on the show)
8. I could write a book

While I perfect my list, I will continue carpooling with SuperHubby. If anyone has any stellar ideas, let me know.

If It Weren't for Bad Luck, I'd Have No Luck at All

Does anyone remember that segment of Hee Haw, where they sang that little ditty? My aunt reminded me of it this afternoon when I told her how my weekend was going.

Earlier this morning, I posted on how life was pretty stinky...the suppository has died and MUSC has chosen this particular moment in our financial distress to screw up our accounts and now they need $1600 RIGHT NOW or they will turn us over to collections. I didn't think it could get any worse.

Wrong.

This morning, while SuperHubby was at work - with the only car we have - FrogBoy informs me that he is peeing blood. Yes, you read that right. Now Froggie had a little hoohoo surgery when he was 10 months old (it was a hypospadius repair - the hole in the uretha was on the side instead of the top of his hoohoo) and the pediatric urologist who did his surgery told us we needed to be vigilant about things in the event he had urological issues in the future. He pees blood about every couple of years, and I guess it was just time, so this morning, we started that again.

So I have him pee for me. And I inspect him. And I call the on-call nurse at his pediatrician's office. Then I have to call SH, because we are advised to have him seen at the ER. At MUSC. Oh joy.

This is why I can't ever tell these MUSC people off - I need them too much. Between SuperHubby and FrogBoy, we should have our own parking pass. But I digress.

So we spent the better part of our day (4+ hours) at the Pediatric ER at MUSC. FrogBoy was amazing - he wasn't the least bit nervous, he smiled the whole time, he was really great. His biggest concern was that the bathroom wasn't cleaned to his specifications. My biggest concern was that they were going to insert a catheter tube you-know-where to check for blockage, but thankfully it didn't come to that. They had a TV in his room so he spent 4 hours watching Cartoon Network - so he was happy.

They ran tests on his urine and it looks like it's a fluke - praise God. We have to keep an eye on things, but this is a way better outcome than it could have been. So once again, bad day, good results.

Then I remembered that our upstairs toilet has stopped working - so we're down to 1 potty. Which would be really bad if we still lived in our house, which only had 1 potty, but we have 2 here, so it's more inconvenient than anything.

Hence the comment from my aunt: If you didn't have bad luck, you wouldn't have any luck at all.

Trouble in River City

Things haven't gone so well since my last post. The stupid suppository didn't get the memo with my plan of action, which was that we would drive her until she died completely, hopefully around tax time, which would allow us to purchase a new-to-us vehicle. Instead, the dumb old girl died right after my last post. Nice.

So now I am carpooling with SuperHubby - and let me just tell you, he's not the most talkative, happy person in the morning. And I'm a morning person. Not a good combination.

So we've been doing the sharing thing, which is a bit of a logistical nightmare but on most days can be figured out, at least until school starts. In 2 weeks.

Meanwhile, I have to be thankful that we moved to Mt. Pleasant before all this happened. On most days, I make a triangle between work, school and home, and TECHNICALLY it could be walked if necessary. We've talked about getting SH a bike. It could be worse.

And then, just the other day, MUSC calls to let me know that, hello, they've screwed up the accounting records for SH's last surgery (wow - who didn't see that coming) and could I please send them $1600 RIGHT NOW or they'll be happy to turn us over to collections? Oddly enough, they aren't interested in the records I've kept where I've paid them - what difference would that make, after all? If memory serves, this will be the 4th time they've done this to us - with 3 accounts going to collections and 1 going to a tax lien - all because they can't get their act together. But that's another blog for another time.

The only good thing this week was that my mother got baptized by my brother, with SH offering up quite the lengthy prayer, and that is a very cool thing.

Frankly, I'm ready for 2008.

Heaven

For those who are so uninformed, the most perfect place in the world might possibly be Mullet Hall. We just got back from a week there, spent with my brother's family and my aunt and uncle - with almost daily visits from my sis-in-law's dad (to go fishing, of course) and a family friend. You would think 13 people would get on each other's nerves, but it's just not possible at Mullet Hall. Now quit with the dumb laughter - a mullet is a fish, not a haircut (actually, if you can believe it, I asked my aunt and uncle what Mullet Hall was named for...when I told them all my friends thought it was the haircut, they were like "What haircut?" I had to explain the whole "business up front, party in the back" thing - and they had no clue what I was talking about.)

Anyway, I wanted to share some of the reasons we love Mullet Hall...so here are some pix. I will let them speak for themselves (almost).




This is the house where we stay

We have to look at this all day long

This is one of my most favorite things in the whole world. We have taken this same picture every year for the past 6 years.

That would be my nephew Jacob, my neice Mary-Elizabeth, FrogBoy and Spanky, and my nephew David (a.k.a. The Adonis).

Things Are Getting Better

If you've read the last 2 or 3 posts, you know that the suppository is dying a slow and painful death. Amazingly, this has caused great sadness in 3 out of 4 Fitzgeralds. SuperHubby is just heartless.

Last night, as I was trying to fall asleep and wondering what I was going to do without a Giant Golden Suppository in my life, I was reminded of a discovery I made while on vacation last week. Vera Bradley's new fall line is out. OH HAPPY DAY.

Vera puts out new patterns and purse styles twice a year, and she is kind enough to have her fall line come out in July, a month before my birthday. It makes shopping for my birthday very simple, frankly (hint, hint).

When I walked into Carolina Girls in Fresh Fields (on Kiawah), I was instantly drawn to a FABULOUS pattern - brown with pink florals. Oddly enough, it is called Mod Floral Pink. I was excited to learn this is actually a new pattern, not some stupid "limited edition" offering that will only leave me wanting more. LIFE IS GOOD.

Now don't go online to look at the pattern, because it looks ridiculous on the website. (I know everyone wants to see it). I have never seen a picture be so unrepresentative of an item before in my life. Just trust me - it's FANTASTIC.

So, aside from a car and a laptop, which I doubt anyone will get me, I now know what I want for my birthday. Only 28 shopping days left, kids.

I Know Just What I Need

After spending most of yesterday whining and sulking about the situation with the suppository, it suddenly came to me last night...I don't necessarily need a new car, I just need a Sugar Daddy.

I don't even need a super-rich Sugar Daddy (I don't want to be greedy, after all). I just need a guy who is willing to help me out a little to get us out of the medical debt (and stupid tax) we've acquired.

There's only one little glitch, as far as I can see: I don't actually DO anything. SuperHubby cooks - so that's out. I'm a moderate housekeeper at best. I can't even really be counted on to attend various social functions, since I go to bed at 9:30 every night and only own 1 dress. My hair would look great, but that's about all I can promise.

However, I AM working on a plan...and I wanted everyone to know that I wasn't just sitting around moping and not doing anything about my sad situation.

The Suppository Goes Down the Drain

Being Fitzgeralds, we couldn't start our vacation on a simple, laid back note. Somehow, this year, I became the anti-Lori and packed the night before our trip...and left the grocery shopping for the day we were leaving. I figured I could hit the store on the way and save myself some hassle. No such luck.

We packed the cars. We got through some minor issues (who sits next to Mommy at Waffle House, where on earth is Winnie Pooh, things like that). Finally, we're on our way...and we're early.

I take FrogBoy and we go shopping. Now anyone who knows FrogBoy knows this is no easy feat, as he starts asking for a Lego about 5 seconds after we enter the store (regardless of whether they sell them or not). He also has a VERY short attention span for grocery shopping. Why did I take him, you ask? To help out SuperHubby, that's why.

So SH goes to put air in Froggie's bike tires while I go to get groceries. Except the suppository doesn't want to go with me. The old girl started shaking and sputtering like Linda Blair in The Excorcist. And it didn't get much better.

She's been spouting white clouds of smoke for some time now, and shaking uncontrollably in the mornings, but she just flat died on me. So I had to call SH to rescue us from the store, and we had to load all our groceries and luggage into the trunk of his car. Which meant no bike for FrogBoy (which actually didn't matter in the long run). We get to our vacation spot, which is a good 45 minutes away from where I broke down, and I call AAA to tow the stupid thing. And they inform me that they can't tow it unless someone meets them there to show ID. Yeah, like if we were going to steal something, we'd steal THAT.

Needless to say, SH was THRILLED to drive all the way back into town to meet the guy from AAA and give him $57 we didn't have. What a great start to our holiday.

Then today, we go to the mechanic and he informs us that, sadly, it is exactly what we thought it was, which was a blown head gasket, which is actually just as terrible as it sounds. So we can't afford to fix it, but we wouldn't want to if we could. And we can't afford a new car, because we've put over $1000 into the stupid suppository in the past couple of months. Lovely.

Apparently we can put fix-a-flat or some such nonsense inside the car and hope it will continue to get me from home to work for a few more weeks. Can you say "crap," my friends?

I'm wrapping up the vacation now, and have spent the better part of today doing laundry and getting life back to normal. However, this afternoon has been spent completely on sulking. I miss the suppository already.

Vacation Blues

I know what you're thinking...that sounds like an oxymoron...but give me a minute.

For the past 6 or 7 years (we've lost track), my entire extended family (the cool ones, anyway) have gone to a place called Mullet Hall (near Kiawah) for a wonderful, glorious, do-nothing week. The kids can roam free, it's on about a bazillion acres of undeveloped land so there's gators and deer and all the fishing you can handle, plus fields to pick whatever fruits and veggies your heart desires. At one point there was a pig (Magnolia), but sadly, she died. She was old and was attacked by dogs. We told the kids she had a heart attack.

Our kids have literally been going to Mullet Hall their whole lives. We've been backtracking it through pictures and memories and we believe FrogBoy was 2 or 2 1/2 when when first went, which would have made my niece 18 months old (and she's the youngest - and about to turn 8).

So this year, the big corporation has decided to - GASP! - sell Mullet Hall. And develop the land. Now this is upsetting for several reasons, the most obvious being that our annual family vacay is screwed, but also the loss of wildlife is very disturbing. Plus, it's MULLET HALL. (I think you have to be part of our family to understand that statement...)

Since this is our last year to go, we decided to make the most of it. We generally go for 5 or 6 days. We extended our reservation - to 7. Then yesterday we found out that the new owner wants in, on day 3 of our already scheduled vacay. And what can we do? He DOES own the joint, and regardless of whether we've been listed on the schedule since January, he OWNS it - so he doesn't owe us anything. And that really STINKS.

We had a lot planned for our last Mullet Hall trip. At least 2 fish frys. Homemade ice cream. ATV rides everyday (me and sis-in-law, not the kids). Boiled peanuts out the wazoo. Now, we're thinking fast and frugal, pack as light as possible, we might have half a week left and nothing to do (ideas, anyone?).

My wonderful, wonderful uncle, who works for Kiawah, is begging for a day or 2 more for us. We should know today. It will be a great time regardless of what happens, but of course, we would like to go out on our own glorious terms.

We leave on Friday - I'll post pictures of the most beautiful place in Charleston when we get back (whenever that might be).

What a Weekend!

This past weekend was an amazing one for our family. It started off pretty lousy - our air conditioning went out on Friday, quite possibly the hottest day in the history of mankind. Our thermostat only would register 90 - and it stayed there. The office brought us a window unit, which blasted cold air, but only directly in front of the unit. And sadly, we all sleep upstairs. By the time I got up Saturday morning, I had lost 37 pounds from sweating so much.

The repairmen showed up at our house at 7:30 a.m. Saturday. I have never been so happy to see people I didn't know. They stayed all day, throughout the monsoon and everything, and finished up at some point before we got home from church.

Church was the awesome part of the weekend. Spanky had been having some conversations with his karate instructor, explaining that he'd like to be a minister like his dad (we'll get him past the dislike of hospitals soon, I'm sure). This led to many conversations with SuperHubby about accepting Christ (which he'd already done) and his next step...baptism. So Saturday after church, SuperHubby baptized Spanky.

My brother and sis-in-law and their kids came to the service, and my aunt and uncle came for the baptism. It was really great to share this moment with our family. It was one of the highlights of my mom-hood!

To top it off, I got an unexpected gift from my brother and sis-in-law from Rome - they brought me the coolest bracelet that has purses all around it!

Nothing tops the baptism though! Even though we had to do it in the rain, even though we forgot towels - it was FANTABULOUS!

Flip Your Flops Off

I've been hearing a lot lately about how bad flip flops are for your feet. Personally, I'm inclined to believe all the hype. I generally try to ignore what the crowd is saying and forge my own way, but I have had some experience with bad feet, so I think I know whereof I speak.

For many years, I chose to wear traditional shoes, even in the summer. It didn't matter that my feet would sweat buckets. My ego had taken a hit when I was dating SuperHubby and he told me I had Fred Flintstone toes. (For those not in the know, that means my toes are stubby little nubs, like Fred's, from stopping the car with his feet). Anyway. The sad part is his was entirely correct and honest in his assessment.

Then I started noticing something. Not a lot of people have pretty feet. I'm sure some people do, but not a lot - and I can say this with near certainty because I work at Seacoast, where no one wears anything other than flips from March to October. And there are some funky feet around our office.

So a couple of summers ago, I decided to throw caution to the wind and start wearing flips. Out in public. And you know what? No one died of shock, no one barfed, and my feet were a lot cooler throughout the day. It was a glorious thing.

Fast forward to a several months ago, when my back was hurting so bad I couldn't hardly get out of bed. Being extremely quick on the uptake, I realized this probably had something to do with my very fashionable poor choice of footwear. I'd heard flips were terrible for your back (posture issues, gets you all out of alignment, dumb stuff like that). So I went out and bought a pair of crocs. Quite possibly the ugliest shoes around. But within 2 days, I could bend over and move and my back wasn't hurting anymore. I even did a little jig at work to prove I had been healed. (seriously - I have at least 5 witnesses - none of whom will ever be the same).

Now I believe all the nastiness about flips and all the loveliness about crocs. I am thinking of getting a pair of croc flops. They are semi-cute, and I'm sure they would offer the same cushiony support my ugly brown ones provide. Personally, I'm going more for the cute factor.

Readers take heed: toss your flips and get some crocs! Your sciatic nerve will thank you!

Quote This

Friends are God's way of apologizing for our relatives.

Try This

I recently read about this website, www.thebirthdayregister.com, where you register your birthday and then, about 2 weeks before the Big Day, different vendors in your area send you coupons for free stuff. Sounded like something that had my name written all over it, so I signed up. Since my birthday is more than 2 weeks away, I don't know yet if it works, but I thought I'd share the site with my friends (and anyone who stumbles upon my blog while looking for fashion tips).

All you do is go to the site, enter your birthday and your personal information, and then you're asked to select 5 categories (out of about a billion) that you'd like to receive gifts from. The catch is you can only choose each one once (as far as I could tell). And they don't tell you what you'll be getting, so if you choose "restaurant" you might get a free napkin at Burger King.

If anyone has a birthday coming up soon, try it and let me know. Otherwise, I will keep everyone posted on how this plays out in my personal life. Yes, I live a very exciting life, indeed.

The Countdown is On

Only 61 more days until I'm as old as Scott.

(I am pointing this out because he's at camp this week, which means he'll probably miss this post entirely).

For Non-Seacoasters Only

This particular post is for my friends and family who don't attend Seacoast. For all the Seacoasters who are still reading (and I know you are, because Seacoasters don't follow directions very well), seriously, you don't have to read further.

This past weekend, Pastor Greg gave an awesome message. It was called "A Lion, a Crocodile and a Herd of Water Buffalos." While this ain't your typical Baptist message title, it's pretty normal around Seacoast. And it was really great.

There's a link on our website (www.seacoast.org) that will take you to Pastor Greg's blog, which will then show a YouTube video about - you guessed it - some water buffalo, some lions and a crocodile. Oh my. It's really an amazing video, and I think everyone should see it.

After you view the video, I urge you to listen to the message online. It's one that has incredible imagary and application that you'll never forget.

Becky - this is mainly for you right now - simply because with Larry & Ann gone, you may be the only non-Seacoaster reading my blog. However, I'm hoping a lot of people will tune in, both to the video and the message, because it really is just that cool.

Professor Buttmunch - Part Deux

If you haven't read the previous Professor Buttmunch post, you need to go back and do that now. I'll wait.

Okay - so since my buttheaded brother made me rethink my entire daytimer philosophy, I have purchased 2 more daytimers. These are both 16 month dealies, which is really cool, because I can start using them in August. They are also both specifically designed for moms, which is one thing I remain consistent about - for now.

Anyway - that means I'm going to have to devote some time to filling out the new daytimers. But that's okay. Because my buttmunch brother was at camp all last week - with Spanky in tow - and he left yesterday for Rome (for 2 weeks). So, if you refer to my post several years ago when he went on a summer RV trip, you know that I am desperately bored when he is out of town. It's not that we talk that often (several times a week), it's just that he's one of the few people I can say "Dad's being Dad again" and he doesn't (1) wonder what I mean (2) get upset or (3) care. It's just a statement.

All that said, I love the big buttmunch, so please pray for their safety traveling (as well as keeping up with a bunch a highschoolers). The great news is that my sis-in-law got offered 2 jobs, one of which she accepted right before they left on their trip, so that particular prayer request has been answered in spades.

Now, I just have to get through until July 6th without anyone to talk family trash talk with. Any takers?

Our God Is An AWESOME God

Several of my friends have come across the website for Ethan Powell, the 6-month-old little boy who is fighting cancer. His parents have established a blog to keep people updated on his progress (www.ethanpowell.com). Today was a BIG DAY for them, as they needed him to test 0% for leukemia so he could go to transplant. Well...wait for it...GOD SHOWED UP AND SHOWED OFF! I just read their most recent post from a couple of hours ago, and Ethan has 0% luekemia and they are prepping for the transplant. This little guy still needs a lot of prayers but in case anyone was wondering, here's an update on him and proof yet again that God answers our prayers.

A few more prayer requests:

1. A group from our church left this morning for a missions trip to Kenya. I am particularly fond of a couple of people on this trip, so please lift them up.
2. Another group is going to Scotland for a missions trip. Yes, I know, sounds terrible, right? Anyway, pray for them as well.
3. My brother and sis-in-law leave in a couple of days for Rome. Again, we feel for them, but please keep them in your prayers. Please also pray for their 3 kids - no anxiety for them.
4. I have a cousin who has terminal cancer. His entire family needs prayer. His father just died in March, and his mom isn't doing well at all with his situation.
5. A little boy in FrogBoy's class at church is in the hospital. I have no idea specifically what's going on, but please pray for him.
6. SuperHubby continues to get a little better and then regress. He did manage to celebrate Father's Day in style, dining at Miyabi and downing every last bit. I thought he was cured; alas, this morning he was super nasty and ended up staying home.
7. My sis-in-law is looking for a job. She's a teacher, but ran into some certification issues because of dumb SC rules - however, she has 3 interviews this week, so please pray for her to find something. If you really feel led, you can pray that she gets offered the school of her choice. :-)
8. Small tidbit: We're having some car issues - please pray for them to be inexpensive.

Other than that - the praises keep flooding in - so THANK YOU LORD!

Now THAT'S What I'm Talking About!

A few days ago, I mentioned some specific prayer requests, and we have already had some answers, so I thought I'd share the news.

1. Both boys are now done with school - hallelujah! This wasn't a prayer request, but Spanky was questionable because of his math grades. He needed a 77 for the last 9 weeks to pass for the year; he managed an 85 and passed with a 74! I am now the mom of a 4th grader and a 7th grader.
2. Coleman came home from the hospital and seems to be doing very well. They had an appointment with the cardiologist today and I haven't heard/read how that went, but you can keep getting updates on their blog.
3. Biggie for our family: Spanky is in at Moultrie! The vote was supposed to be June 13, but they approved the request the day after I dropped the paperwork off, so I must have written a pretty good letter this time around. We were prepared for a battle, but this is actually the smoothest this has ever gone (of course, it should have been the most complicated, but God was working on it long before I was, so that helped!)

GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME!

Thanks for your continued prayers. Please remember us as the boys are away next week, and please keep praying for SuperHubby. He takes 2 steps forward and 1 step back (the ENT said this was normal) but the step-back days are horrible (and today is a step-back day).

Be blessed!

Never Say I Can't Laugh at Myself

Okay, so I wasn't going to post this, but my officemates said I should, so I'm going to open up and be completely transparent with all my friends out there in blogland.

The other night, I got up from sleeping and had to pee. Nothing new there, I do that all the time. When I took my seat on the pot, I realized the bowl wasn't as cold as it normally is. The thought was very brief (it was the middle of the night) and I just figured one of the boys I live with had recently been sitting in the same spot. It didn't occur to me that they don't usually sit, and I generally find this out because it's wet. But I digress.

So anyway, all this didn't make any sense until I got up. Then it dawned on me...I hadn't gotten my shorts down far enough and I had peed on my shorts. How embarrassing is that? I'm almost 37 years old and I wet my pants.

Then I did what anyone else would have done if they had peed on themselves in the middle of the night. I kicked the shorts to the corner of the bathroom floor and went back to bed.

Back Home

SuperHubby is finally back home. He is still feeling the nastiness from the surgery, but the doctor told him that was partly due to him being very aggressive in repairing the holes in the inner ear. He should be feeling a little better every day. He asked me to stop for coffee on the way home, so he's getting there.

I realized when I picked him up that FrogBoy was born at that same hospital 9 years ago this Tuesday. I got a little misty.

Thanks to everyone for your prayers. Keep it up for Coleman and Ethan.

June Prayer Focus

A couple of things I'd like to ask for prayer for in June:

1. Spanky is going to camp with my brother and his family June 10-17. He normally goes with our church group, but this year he's going with them. He will be gone almost twice as long as normal. He will also be in an area where they don't get cell service and I don't have Mr. Scott checking in with me almost daily to keep me from getting my knickers in a knot.
2. While Spanky is at camp, FrogBoy is going to Camp Aunt Linda. He'll be spending a week with my aunt and uncle in Ravenel. Pray for them.
3. On June 13 the school board is meeting and on their agenda is our request to keep Spanky at Moultrie next year.
4. On June 21 my brother and his wife are chaperoning a school trip - to Rome. They are in charge of 18 or so middle school kids - and did I mention they're going to Rome? So please pray for safe travel for them - and that they bring me back something good.
5. Continued prayer for the recovery of Coleman Kinney.
6. Also check out www.ethanpowell.com. This little guy is fighting for his life and if you read his parent's blog, I'm sure you'll be touched.

I think that's about it for now. Thanks for always praying faithfully.

Professor Buttmunch

SuperHubby is still in the hospital, there's so much rain I need an ark, my hair is nasty and frankly, I'm a little menstrual. And then it happens. My brother, The Professor, changes from Nice Older Brother to Professor Buttmunch. Quick. It happened so fast, I almost missed it. Almost.

Me: "What's up?"
Him: "Not much. I'm so glad you called."
Me (suspicious): "Why?"
Him: "Because you're the best sister in the world. You're awesome; perfect really. I can't believe how blessed I am to have you for a sister. You are really wonderful."
Me: "Really?"
Him: "Oh yeah. I mean, I don't know how you do it. You have great hair, you're super funny, smart, cute, I could go on and on..."
Me: "Aw, shucks..."
Him: "You're the only one I can really talk to. See, I'm having this issue with my daytimer..."

Okay, the conversation may not have gone completely like that, but it was close, and he did move it toward the daytimer problem. At which point I started telling him the intricate details about my 2 favorite daytimer systems: the Go Mom! (www.gomom.com) and the WhoMi (www.mywhomi.com). Both are specifically designed for moms, which I explained probably wouldn't work for his needs, but they are awesome daytimers.

So I spent several minutes discussing the things I like in a daytimer (vertical days rather than boxes that cause my eyes to flit all around the page), weekly layout, room to write. I started to explain that I'm using the WhoMi right now, in a wallet size, because it has different areas for each member of my family and it's color-coded. However, I have to shrink my fat bubbly handwriting to make it fit and there's no space for notes or lists or to-do items. So maybe I should go back to the Go Mom! daytimer. I have 2 in my desk drawer (please, no comments on that...it's just sad).

Here's my problem: I was completely satisfied with my daytimer status until The Professor brought it up. Now I am rethinking the whole thing. What a conundrum.

As of 8:00 last night, my brother will be officially known as Professor Buttmunch. At least for today.